Plates.

This is the point when I had nothing left to lose.

I have this fantastic ability to not be noticed. 

It's wonderful, because I can skip through corridors and skirt around doors without a single person registering that I am even there. It's not a superpower or anything, don't worry. I should mention upfront that I have never been bitten by a radioactive spider, I'm not a billionaire, and I was never abused as a child (it depends on which way you look at it really). 

I can just,

disappear.

And it's at times like these, when the hustle and bustle of the outside world becomes too much for me, that I disappear, retreating into my own head for a little while, trying to find some sanctity. 

But in here is no better than out there.

Being inside my head is rather like trying to keep plates spinning. I like to compartmentalise. Each and every aspect of my life broken down and boxed, some batted away without a second thought, but it's all there. Order is easier to manage than chaos.

Before, it was easy. Too easy. Before, the plates simply spun themselves, and everything was just so.

Everything.

Was.

Perfect.

Until one morning I woke up, and my nanny didn't.

Then, everything got harder.

The plates began to wobble, but I managed. And, when the world got too much, I would disappear. But it was never quite the same. Although the plates would wobble, I would always keep them spinning. Just. But I never let onto anyone. Never let on that I wasn't OK.

But I kept them spinning.

Just.

But as time went on, things got even harder. 

As time went on. something else started living in my head. 

It was almost invisible at first, almost as invisible as I can become, but it was definitely there.

And as time went on, it got bigger,

And bigger,

And bigger.

Until the plates began to topple. and you know what?

I let them.

I let them crash and smash, until nothing remained, because I didn't care. Did you hear me?

I.

Didn't.

Care.

Because the voices in my head had whispered to me for too long, because the shadows in my mind were cast too big, and that was how my friends found me.

Beaten.

Battered.

And surrounded by broken china.

Reviews

[Jacob Clifford]

I like the tone this piece has. The pacing is very good, and had a hectic feel to it at the end.

[RibhyMay]

Oh gosh, thank you very much! So glad you enjoyed it!