Out in our Sun (tender tragedy)

Swap Quatrain (when one's soulmate dies)

Out in our Sun
……………………………………………🌞 ……………………………………………

When I was young, I used to dance;
my feet would skip around and prance,
There was no song remained unsung ...
I used to dance when I was young.

When I was kissed, my young heart soared;
the girls and flowers I adored.
I'd shy away, but they'd insist ...
my young heart soared, when I was kissed.

There came one day, a special one;
eyes forest green and hair like sun.
We ran and laughed, in joy we'd play ...
a special one, there came one day.

We fell in-love, never apart;
we lived it all with loyal heart,
with all our days blessed from above ...
never apart, we fell in-love.

So sweet it went throughout those years,
all our eyes shed were loving tears.
We spoke and planned in moments spent ...
throughout those years, so sweet it went.

We'd found our way; though, in the sun
our love  grew strong since it begun,
there came a cold hand one dark day ...
though, in the sun we'd found our way.

Clouds drifted-in and you were gone;
ohh, I don't think I can go on!
Prayed high to stars, called out again ...
and You were gone; clouds drifted-in.

The wind, it blows a quiet refrain:
my heart, in tears, calls out your name,
and everywhere your mem'ry glows ...
a quiet refrain, the wind it blows.

Out in our sun, still loving You;
ne'er shall there be a love more true,
nor ever can it be undone ...
still loving You ~ out in our sun.

……………………………………………🌞 ……………………………………………
Richard W. Jenkins

©2016

Author's Note

Painting: "Magia of the Heart" … acrylic on panel by Andrew Gonzalez

Constructive critique and helpful comments are always welcome! : )

Reviews

[lightsong]

a tale of love, of life, of life lived until the first touch of real love over that young heart, of what and how life has made him until he met her, and how life and love has made him with her, and without her... ever the same, in the most tender way of flow, words and emotions, (tender tragedy) is the perfect description to this deeply soft wistful poem, and the form just adding more gentle yearning, more sweet tenderness, like a gentle slow long wave, takes us over the blue ocean in a journey shared with You.

yet another beauty from Your ever gentle creative pen, a composer of the truest of emotions and feelings.

[Richard🖌]

Goodness, GH!
No one interprets my poetry with the depth and clear imagery of vividness you do, and to my mind-eye, it would appear that we buy our ink at the same writing store. : )
To realize my humble efforts inspire such praise and appreciation from a poetess of your caliber is inspiring and encouraging, indeed.

I cannot thank you enough for your sweet tenderness … warmest hugs of gracious thanks to you, dear lady-poet! ⁓ Richard : )

[Sira YR]

I really like it soo much. It is really clear that you are a fantastic writer. This poem really touched me tho I have not yet experienced the love that is portrayed in this poem. I really, thoroughly enjoyed it.

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Dear Raysira*
Yes, one day most of us will have experienced this kind of love and know of its loss.
Thank you sincerely for selecting one of my pieces to read, for sharing your beautiful words of enjoyment and fondness, expressed touch in tender emotion, and certainly for gifting a hopeful bard such praise for his humble efforts.

*You truly are a lovely-hearted poetess … warmest smiles 'n hugs to you! ⁓ Richard

[Sira YR]

Thank you so much.

[Sira YR]

And the same to you!

[Richard🖌]

I am truly warmed, Raysira⁓*

[Beccy]

Though sad, the refrain throughout is so beautifully wrought, I am minded that memory far outlasts our frail, blink of an eye three score year and ten.

I so much enjoyed this exquisitely composed poem.

Beccy

[Richard🖌]

Why thank you, Beccy! : )
Your words of expressed emotion enjoyment and understanding let me know we've connected on a personal level, and what more could a hopeful bard ask that this, eh?

Warmest happy hugs to you! ⁓ Richard

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

Love lost is tragic but when it can continue it is sublime! I absolutely adore the warmth and character of this piece. Leaves with hope and foundation.

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Queenie! : )
How sweetly warm your words of compassionate comprehension envelop the senses and inspire the mind … thank you for reading this one and for blessing my humble effort with your touch of gentle understanding.

I feel as though i've been softly kissed! ⁓ Richard

[Einstein Noodle]

touched my heart and memories ..well done ..each quatrain using the first line's idea in the last line is solid ..each verse is wrapped up but encourages me on .. some of the rhyming is well worn but it doesn't matter in the scope of the form and sentiment .. very fine pic to compliment your poem ..nothing i read gave any hint of wanting something changed .. reading took me to a quiet place of my own missed loved ones ...but especially one :)
E.

[Richard🖌]

Hi there, Dear Gene,
Long time no see, My Fine Friend! : )
Well, despite however long it's been, you've lost none of your reviewing prowess or charm after reading one of my humble little pieces … nor, have your accolades and understandings lost any of their luster in how encouraged, gratified, and inspired the resulting feelings gifted an olde bard for his earnest labors truly are.
Thank you sincerely for sharing a meaningful bit of your own emotion in expressing such appreciation for this rather poignant composition and presentation … bless you ever-so warmly! ~ Richard

[Einstein Noodle]

i had responded yesterday but the Cafe was acting up and kept getting blank pages :} ah computers right!? thank you ... and blessings to you as well! i do try to encourage and assist as best i can :)

[Annie Gryphon]

My dear friend Richard, again you did it - touched my heart with your sweet sad poem. I can see the cold hand of death in in the dark clouds, the only reason, she could have left him. At least he has the memories of this great love that some people never find in life.
Sending best wishes to the poet! You are the one giving life and sunshine to the writers cafe, thank you, Richard.

[Richard🖌]

Aw, Dear Annie,
It seems forever since your bright, beautiful words of praise and understanding have graced one of my little efforts, but the feelings you inspire within this olde bard touch me as deeply and effulgently as ever, and as hard as is it to believe, I think I may love them all even more!
Yes, Annie, you got this one just right … why am I not surprised? ; )

I bless you with my warmest hug and most grateful thanks, M'Lovely Lady-Poet! ⁓ Richard

[Crimson_ish]

There's something so tender about tragedy, maybe it's the emotional loss, or the mental suffering, something about it touches you so deeply that you never come out of it, instead you seep into it and feel hurt but protected. I've always admired your poems dearly, and deeply I hope you're published so that I can flip through the pages during the best and worst times. I love this poem, the experience of true love, the moment when your hand touches another which just feels right, it not only fits, but belongs, belongs upon your skin, upon your heart, it belongs into your soul. It's all a beautiful period of blurred kaleidoscopic colours until a a froid hand knocks, and the loneliness, the anguish, the separation, it so beautifully captured, the need to be sedated after tragedy, lovely. I love "Our Sun" the intimacy is remarkable, and true from flesh to stars.

Always the best read here, warm regards and hugs! :)

[Richard🖌]

Ya know, Kajal?
Every once in a great while, a bard will be partaking reviews from those wonderful readers whom happen along to leave their comments, and he will find his mind captivated, his heart quickened, and his being touched and warmed in a wondrously bliss-filled way by the essence of one of them in particular … this individual happens to be You.
I would think anyone reading your words in review of this rather poignant piece will easily grasp just what I mean, and marvel, too, at how brilliant the depths of your insights, feelings, and emotions really and truly are.
To the obvious extent in which you understand, admire, love, and revel in my poetry … it is equally reciprocated by my enjoyment and appreciation from the touches and caresses of your marvelously wondrous reviews … warmest hugs, blessings, and deepest gratitude to thee, Dear Kajal ⁓ Richard : )

[Crimson_ish]

You always find magic in my words, Richard, thank you for such wonderful words and sentiments! :)

[Susan 🦋]

Oh Richard, what can I say. An exquisite piece of poetry. This story plays out...but the agony of lost love is just so heartfelt. Those simple emotions and feeling of love that one hopes will never end...and the realization that it does...killing my heart!!...curious though..."a love more true"...but yet gone...should not true love never die?...or maybe that's just me and my dreamy wishful thinking.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Susan!
You've certainly gifted this work a nice array of accolades that both gratify and inspire its writer to keep his olde pen shined and ready for the next inspiration.
It is a review such as yours that lets an author know how well they've connected with the reader, and the measure in which their efforts are appreciated.
You asked, "Should not true love never die?"
That's just a rumor started by lovers in-love … us realists have learned that love, even if it does not die, changes to the extent it's almost unrecognizable … LOL!

Thank you truly and sincerely for your wonderful review, Fine lady-Poet … my most grateful hugs to you! ⁓ Richard

[Susan 🦋]

but maybe somewhere someone gets that kinda love...maybe. I'll hold to that.

[Richard🖌]

Yeah!
That's what keep the rumor fresh and all those mushy poems pumping-out, eh? ; )

[Susan 🦋]

yes, hunny....me, mushy poems, shining stars, moonbeams, endless love and happy ever after!!!

[Richard🖌]

If it works for you, that's what really counts, eh? ; )