Little Conqueror

The seasons are my anachronism.

The last bit of whipped cream
refuses to be
sucked
through the straw

Weighted training in the Autumn,
I have resigned to rot here.
Inside you
I will die within your guise

Let our gaze and imminent embrace
be frozen
and let the leaves change behind us.
Through the oranges, reds and browns,
our expressions will not change

A photograph to remind us
of those sweet airy times,
the ones where we ignored those parts of us that passed away.

That pile of crunching red leaves
with joyful blinks I remember the falls
into happiness
into time
into futures that could never exist because they were so far away

I was so excited to see a single leaf crumble to pieces in my hand.

Caressed by the thrill,
I leaped.
When the leaves were wet from the desperate rain,
they brought no stains.
As long as our hearts were both tingling,
I couldn�t go back
inside.

Reviews

[rebecca]

your poems are really something richard! but you already know that, what with your publications and all. really like this poem, great imagery and it seemed to tie together pretty nicely. some of the longer lines might need some fixing, like taking out a few words that could be said with just one.
your imagery here is really substantial, and really quite strong. i like that you use leaves, seeing as they can dry up and blow away and become brittle, much like the idea of love. i really enjoyed the stanzas:
"I have resigned to rot here.
Inside you
I will die within your guise

Let our gaze and imminent embrace
be frozen
and let the leaves change behind us." really really strong, but i think maybe seperating be frozen/ and let the leaves change behind us. / our expressions will not change" might make those last two lines a little more powerful. also, the word expressions, i can't figure out if i like it or not. part of me says use somethig more detailed, but part of me really likes it b/c it mkaes me question if the narrator and the beloved have two different expressions on, and that is why they are not classified as the same.
really concise poem, well worded and thought out. i'm very impressed! i wish you could have read your stuff in class!
p.s. congrats again on getting all those publications! i am so excited for you!

[M. Chang]

Love and leaves and wisdom.

[Cat O'nine]

its beautiful, and artistic
but the cadence is off

you might trim some of the longer lines to add to the lyric nature of the read.

[REALIZE]

"Let our gaze and imminent embrace
be frozen
and let the leaves change behind us."

Nice Rich, very nice. But I will have to say that

"Weighted training in the Autumn,
I have resigned to rot here.
Inside you
I will die within your guise"


Now thats hot s**t right there.

[S. Paul Reinert]

Let our gaze and imminent embrace
be frozen
and let the leaves change behind us.

I can feel the moment your describing as if it's around me. Very nice cuz.

[John Destalo]

This could not have been any better. The images, the way it made me feel and I love the fall and now I love it even more.

Favorite.

[Nikki]

just makes me say...

ahhhhhhh

and heave my own sigh...

just lovely!

-Nikki

[Roger F Aucoin]

Very nice, Richard.

[L. L. Jacobson]

Everything you say is always beautiful, in every way.