A Monk and his Fiancee

An LGBT spiritual story about a Monk and his radical lover.

“A Monk and his Fiancee”

By Robben Wainer

 

 

 

 

 

The monastery on Mt. Tamun was having its closing ceremony for the visitors who were there on retreat. “Go now” said Sasso, “and remember the eight fold path we have chanted on,” “you have raised a great deal to discuss, the monastery invites you all back to join in liturgy and its services. Briskly the forty members of the retreat rose from their sitting posture in a brisk dissonant like fashion. As they made their way to their shelters, and hastily prepared to leave, Sasso remained sitting in contemplation, and thought to a very curious question that he would save for another time. The members of the congregation bowed to the enlightened one with great diligence, before dusk there was nobody left excepting the monks who lived at the Monastery permanently.

 

                Sasso sat in his time to review his service as the group’s leader with an elder monk named Tabul. As the two noble men began their interview with a chant, it became time for Sasso to review his experience.

“Elder Tabul,” Sasso said. “What is the meaning of marriage?”

“What is it in your view?”  Tabul asked.

“Well in conversation, one woman spoke up about the impoliteness of some of the families to parents who have either two Fathers or two Mothers. She said they were considered to be outsiders amongst the community.”

“What do you feel about the nature of marriage?” said Tabul.

“In thought I remembered a lay Monk who was studying for the priesthood when my parents brought me here to learn and stay.” “He referred to me as his mistress, and pronounced that I will be a stewardess to this temple and in the act of this passion I will be married to its service.

“Is there anything else?” Tabul said

“No” said Sasso

“I remember the student who treated you with such passion, he ordained as a very high Priest.”

Tabul continued, “Are you saying you feel obliged by oath to meet the serviceable needs of the temple.”

“I was curious as if a Monk with no other companion is considered to be married to his service.”

“Well exonerated in the eyes of Buddhist law and tradition, yet there is a distinction between this and marriage,” said Tabul

“Which is?” asked Sasso.

“You are not obliged to remain faithful in body and soul to the spirit of love and beauty found in a partner” Said Tabul.

 

“I think I see now Master.” Sasso said as he left Elder Tabul’s quarters and prepared for silent sitting and his meal.      

                Sasso returned to his cabin after the service and prepared for sleep, this night he was sleeping nude, drifting into fantasy about the priest who he gave away his gay virginity. So many years he had spent at the monastery, he dreamed of some of his brethren, tending to the animals and chopping wood, he dreamed of walking nude in the tea garden and swimming nude in the lake, just as his thoughts drifted off to sleep he had a vision of the high priest undressing him in private kissing him and penetrating his anus with his member as he courted him as a mistress. As his sleeping hours passed his thoughts returned to him about his interview concerning marriage with curiosity as to whether he was awaiting for a suitor to return. He also thought to his question about being married to a service. Awakening with an erect penis, he understood that this wasn’t a literal marriage, and doing deep breathing as to restore his vitality for work he dressed n his Monks garments and made it to the service hall for morning sitting and breakfast.

                 At breakfast, the Chairman announced that a two week retreat was taking place at the beginning of next week and that this was the celebration of the four seasons. Sasso would not be leading this retreat but his service was needed as an aid in the preparation and cleaning.

                The rest of the week went slow, as Sasso seemed to be drifting in his thoughts, in a kind of quiet, hopeless, desperation he tended to his work with great vigilance, and with an almost aggressive air about him.” Slow Down” said an elder “you are busy being busy.” He said. Sasso rekindled and the night before the retreat guests arrived Sasso returned to his quarters without attending the evening chant. He was disheartened by believing that the words spoken to him had been misleading. He did not intend on living his whole life as a servant, while having lived at the Monastery for the past fifteen years.   

                The visitors arrived in clusters, and were given instructions and a schedule as to their duties and the practice sessions. Sasso was attending the cabins making sure each had a blanket folded neatly, and that their sand mattresses were neatly arranged. The door opened to in the cabin Sasso was cleaning, as a guest walked in wearing a denim jacket with a muscular build and wearing jeans. This is your robe Sasso said, admiring the looks of the new guest. “Oh, my name is Reiko.” He said

                Sasso moved Reiko’s case to the dresser in a way to hover between his chest and thighs.

                “Are you new at this?” Asked Reiko

                “I have been with the Monastery all of my life.” Said Sasso

                “How do I wear this robe?” Asked Reiko,

                “First put it on and I’ll show you.” said Sasso.

                Reiko undressed willfully, revealing his manhood and surprising him by catching him staring at his body.

                “We are both very fine.” Said Reiko

                “Yes, I know. “ Said Sasso.

                “What is it you see?” asked Reiko.

                “Well you are very kind, here the robe goes this way.” Sasso Said

                “This is my pleasure,” Reiko said as he brought him into his nude body, as sasso just barely recovered in time to release himself from the task, and from there hemmed up Reiko’s robe to be fitting.

                “You’ll have to excuse me,” Sasso said gasping for air, “you practice sessions begin in twenty minutes, followed by another at noon then we will be served lunch.”

                “Very well I know this practice won’t let you down.” Reiko said and winked at him.

                “Sasso smiled gingerly showing white teeth, and in observation of the rules quickly made his way to see that the other guest’s needs were in order.

                The sky was a darkish purple the half moon smile over the monastery at Mt. Tamun, The geese flew beneath the clouds cackling away, as Sasso was preparing the hall for the evening meditation, When he came across Reiko’s mat he felt a twinge in his gut, “what a curious guest he thought to himself,” Just as he finished the preparations and mopped up the floor bringing in the bell, Sasso returned to his cabin for an hour nap and a half hour bath.

                Sasso was only half sleeping as the guests were in practice.  He dreamed of the priest who studied at the Monastery years back. “You will always be mistress of the monastery.” The dream like voice projected, as Sasso dreamed of himself walking through the various gardens and planting vegetables and chopping wood. After an hour Sasso made his way to the bath house and ran the hot water. Swishing around in the tub and watching the ring projectiles in the bath. Sasso was still hazy. “The koans” he thought to himself. “How many koans will he have heard before he died,” was his last thought.

                The door slowly was creaking open. Sasso’s head emerged from the water. Reiko was standing over him.

                “I knew I could find you here.” Said Reiko

                “What brings you to me.” said Sasso.

                “You whole body is as sensuous as a string of pearls.” Said Reiko.

                “I can see this bath is finished.” Said Sasso

                As soon as Sasso rose out of the water completely nude, Reiko took off his robe.

                “Wait” said Reiko as he started massaging the back of his neck. “Do you like this” He said.

                “Hmmm.” You have a gentle touch said Sasso.

                “Here lie on the bench” Said Reiko.

                Reiko continued to massage his neck, and went down to his upper back, around to his torso, stimulating both he and Sasso as though pure warm honey were spreading over their bodies. Reiko massaged his lower back, his thighs and than in a rolling fashion started to give his a*s a squeeze. When Reiko from behind started to massage Sasso’s testacies and shaft, Sasso brushed his hand away and rose from the bench.

                “This much scared you then.” Said Reiko.

                “This was not fitting.” Said Sasso

                Reiko kissed Sasso’s lips lightly but tenderly.

                “I am afraid I have to go now. This is something I have to think over with tea.“ He said.

                “I do not know where you are from, this maybe wrong for me.” Sasso said a little in confusion, and a little in resignation, and then left Reiko in the bath house to return to his cabin.

                A few nights passed and nothing happened that was very noteworthy. The guests on the retreat all ate diligently, the evening chants were all recited in unison, and a talk was given by the leading monk on the birth cycle, and what we may gain by preparing for an afterlife.

                Sasso was deep in thought, five days into the retreat he decided to consult the Buddha in meditation, Sasso left the hall, and made his way to an old chapel at the top of a tower. He decided to sit for three days to gain some insight into his affections.

                The evening’s half moon smiled on Mt. Tamun the scent from honey dew rose up on the air perfuming the Monastery with a kind of sweetness. Meditation was necessary to center one self and to maintain a balanced composure in the life cycle, yet love had such an exotic appeal. Moment by moment passed, Sasso was never really missed except by Reiko. The geese flew over the lake in a kind of procession, cackling in the purple sky beneath the clouds and moon.

                Sasso sat after three days, now more assured of what the answer to his issue had been, a creaking sound from the stair case echoed throughout the chapel.  Sasso went to place another mat by his side then sat facing it.

                Finally Reiko made his entrance.

                “I am dismayed I had no clue as to where you had gone to.” Said Reiko

                “I knew you would be here shortly, please sit.” Said Sasso

                The two were clothed in robes and Sasso asked if they could remain that way. Reiko resumed the lotus posture by Sasso’s side. After a few moments of breathing and peering into each other’s view,

Sasso began.

                “It is clear to me who I am in relation to you.” Said Sasso

                “Who would that be?” Asked Reiko

                “Do you know why you have come to me?” Asked Sasso

                “Only to be with you again” Said Reiko

                “You see,” began Sasso “I am your Mistress, and soon I will be married to you as your wife.”

                “You are not afraid of being with me closely then” Said Reiko.

                “In a few days we will receive the elders blessing in marriage” Said Sasso

                “That is beautiful. But I am leaving in one week. My people need me” said Reiko.

                “You will return.” Said Sasso “and we shall live together in marriage.”

                Reiko felt all words were unnecessary, quietly he consented to Sasso that that was his wish as well. Reiko placed his hands around Sasso’s shoulders. All Sasso could do was to hold on to his waist. Reiko began to kiss his neck, as Sasso raised his lips up with his chin, ands Reiko and Sasso had the most passionate French kiss. The sun was rising. Sasso finally left the chapel needing to consult the elders. Sasso and Reiko joined the other guests for breakfast only to be caught in the confusion of the gossip that had started amongst the guests, a few murmurs was all, but Sasso bowed for forgiveness and for his path to be holy, and the guests, Sasso and Reiko returned to the practice and activity for the rest of the retreat.       

Wake up call was at 5:30am, after breakfast Sasso walked outside of the chambers and followed along a path to the Tea Garden. He met Reiko there and together they crossed the stepping stones over the water gateways and held hands walking in a light spirited, but whole hearted kind of fantasy. In the tea garden the passed by the ancient relics that had given birth to the monastery on Mt Tamun.

“The Buddha path is supreme.” Said Sasso

“I need to ask you if you can follow me in the struggle.” Said Reiko.

“What struggle, we are both at peace.” Said Sasso

“Back home we are fighting for liberation from the Red Army.” Said Reiko

“Our union together may depend on it.” He continued

Circling about each other in a playful manner they met now fully in each others’ embrace.

“I am only at peace at the monastery.” Said Sasso

“Do you consider yourself to be my mistress” Asked Reiko   

                “For us to be married we must only receive the blessing of the elder Tabul.” Said Sasso

                “But I am not a monk” Said Reiko.

                “Return to me in one year after our engagement. It maybe by then I can take the path of the world, and its liberation, as you say.” Said Sasso

                 “Oh Sasso you’ve only made me happy, I believe this was time for you.” Said Reiko.

                Slowly the two exchanged an embrace, and walked past the lilies and the gravel paths each in his own way feel how love is a precious stone, it can illuminate radiance and blind one with beauty.

                “Tomorrow then we shall receive elder Tabuls blessing.” Said Sasso

                “I am a stranger to the truth myself” Said Reiko.

                “You will see tomorrow you will know for certain that this is right for us.” Said Sasso

                That night Sasso slept in his chambers, feeling his innocent heart with a touch of curiosity. Reiko had only been at the Monastery ten days, and already they were making plans to spend their lives together. Sasso felt very effeminate, he glanced at the small Buddha in the hall, and knew with faith the enlightened one would guide him on his path. Sasso was extremely faithful, but the prophecy of his becoming a mistress filled all of his thoughts. It seemed as often as they ate white rice. Sasso believed he could live his life with a husband. The trickling of dew came upon the glass shield, as Sasso held his two fingers to his chest, and knew what it was to count his blessings, so it seemed the solitary life had made him vulnerable to any man’s dowry. 

                The next morning at 5:00 AM while the visitors were having breakfast. Sasso sat with Reiko on either side of the elder Tabul. The two had given him much to think about, comments were interjected by chanting, as the three were trying to reach some kind of an agreement. The dark sky was a little foreboding, as Sasso seemed to be speaking naively, while Reiko was more objective about his plans and goals.

                “I see,” said Tabul “The two of you have fallen in love.”

                “Yes he has made a place deep within my heart.” Said Sasso

                “I need the strength of a monk to bring me back to reality.” Said Reiko

                “But is the feeling mutual then.” Asked Tabul

                “Yes it is” Commented Reiko

                “Well I cannot marry you, not yet anyway you must prove your vow first.” Said Tabul

                “But I will give you a blessing for an engagement.” If Reiko should return in one year from now I shall marry you then.” continued Tabul.

                “Shall it be in order to receive your blessing first” Said Sasso

                “May you love be as vast as the ocean, and may your wedding fill the world with radiant light”

                Said Tabul.

                The three of them together sang koan after koan together for fifteen minutes. Reiko and Sasso were both deeply moved by the experience. “I must lie down now said.” Said Sasso as Reiko tried to move closer to his lips. After all, their lives together had just been blessed by a high member of the clergy.

                Tabul said, “It may be better if you each retire to your own quarters,” which they did having formally been engaged, and needing time to organize their thoughts.  

                After the morning practice, while it was still dark and the evening crickets had stopped their whirlwind of emotion. Reiko and Sasso took a walk to the lake, each wearing their robes, and walking barefoot. Stepping on twigs they fumbled into each other slightly, until finally reaching the sandy alcove. Reiko was the first to strip naked and by his pure persuasion Sasso followed, they held hands as they splashed the water on their chest and buttocks slightly. Now taking deep hugs underwater and then swimming in each other’s gaze was a true feast of pleasure. Slowly Sasso was the first to retreat onto the alcove, as he lay down in the sand and closed his eyes.

                Reiko stepped out of the shallow appearing like a God, his muscular build and deeply intoned pectoral muscles glistened as the drips of water dried almost instantly. Sasso could feel Reiko kissing his neck, and making the suggestion that he was to marry his long sought after wife. The two enjoyed a French kiss, Sasso squeezed the crack in Reikos a*s gently but, pulling him forward. With one hand on Reiko’s deeply endowed chest Reiko started to caress each part of Sasso’s body with an open mouth, the water was dripping in tiny rivulets and was mixing with sweat in the evening  mist.

                Suddenly Reiko thrust his dick into Sasso’s anus while lying on top of him. Sasso’s legs moved in a cradle like fashion, wrapping around his abdomen. The blood and thrust of his pulsing throb had entered Sasso’s gut, “I am your wife you love me.” Said Sasso as Reiko climaxed in Sasso’s a*s, and released his self only to lay by his side. The two lay next to each other motionless for about a half an hour, butterflies could be seen almost leaving the lake and scaling their way up the mountain. The sky was perfectly clear, and had a hypnotic effect as Sasso and Reiko knew it was time to dress in their robes and return to the retreat.     

                       By the next morning all of the guests had left home from Mt. Tamun. Sasso slept dreamily believing the prophecy that he had become a husband’s mistress. Lonely in heart he took to gardening and sitting in the old chapel. As there hadn’t been much time for preparation, or time for farewells, Sasso reconciled his loneliness by the constant belief that Reiko would return in one year for the two of them to be married in the Monastery.

                Sasso spent most of his time in the tea garden and chopping wood, in anticipated splendor he waited patiently, quietly and subdued. Less frequently did he lead the retreats, but obediently served the elders with any request they may make of him. Very quietly he attended his duties often dreaming at night about what it will be like to be a mistress of a true love. Lingering in the ponds he would pull the Lilly pads up from the water to make a clearing for the sake of the view. He spent a great deal of his time in kitchen duties and responded to the other monks with great courtesy and diligence, always keeping track of the days when Reiko had left the Monastery.

                The year went by hastily. Sasso was recommended to a higher position of servitude based on his good behavior, and yet by now he spent most of his days in the small chapel in the owerl. Sitting in the lotus posture he awaited the honor of a visit from his fiancée. Slowly he grew despondent and could rarely be found with the other monks.

                A letter came from Reiko exactly one year after they had separated.  It read;

 

                “My dearest Sasso I have been tried for treason for fighting for liberation from the Red Army, they have seized my network, and have taken prisoner all of those who pose a threat. I have escaped imprisonment but only to be locked up in the basement of an abandon shelter. Please understand the delay, and come see me before I am turned over to the authorities.”

                It was the next day without consultation that Sasso decided he must leave Mt. Tamun to go into the City to seek his love. Taking Refuge in the Buddha he said his rosary. Sasso diligently prepared a traveling sack which could hold one robe and a rice bowl. As a Monk he would beg for his food and travel by foot. He had so many questions that needed answering by now. So he set off down the dirt path and left the Monastery on the Mountain.  

                Sasso had slept poorly, one night in a cave, another night in a bamboo field, and he had only eaten a handful of times. As luck would have it he was seen on the road by a stage coach. The driver asked how far he was going. “All the way to the City” said Sasso. “Well that’s not too far, get in.” Said the driver, after a night of traveling by coach on a bumpy road, the driver woke Sasso up from a weary sleep,

                “We made it, now you must go,” he said.

                “I have one question.” Said Sasso.

                “Which is?” asked the driver

                “Do you know my fiancée, Reiko Kearny.” Asked Sasso

                “No, don’t know, but aren’t you a queer dove.” He said, as Sasso hopped out of the stage upon entering the city and the driver and stage coach were neither heard of nor seen of again.

                Sasso wandered the streets of the city aimlessly the noise and pollution were an unwelcome aftermath of the tragedy that struck his heart. He passed by drunks and gamblers on the street who paid no notice of him sometimes he would beg for food, other times he read Reikos letter. Sasso found himself on a loading dock in a garment factory, the noise of the workers and the traffic of carriages being loaded and unloaded confused him. Almost at once he was stopped by the factories manager.

                “Do you know where I can find my love Reiko Kearny.” asked Sasso.

                “No don’t know, better try vital statistics.” “I’ll tell you how to get there.”said the manager.

                Now downtown in the city the business streets were all very crowded with hustlers and pawns as the men and women going to work seemed not to notice a worn out monk who was lost in the city. Arriving at The office of vital statistics, Sasso was given a family address, and he bowed diligently for the information before being shown the door by a security guard.

                It was evening when Sasso found the address after much commotion and misguided information, the three story building only had apartments, Sasso crept slowly up the staircase, a cat flew out of one of the apartments and ran down the steps. Sasso found the door of the address that was given and knocked on the knocker, an old woman with sandy white hair came to the door.’

                “Do you know Reiko Kearny.” Asked Sasso

                “Yes I am his family.” The woman said

                “But he must have mentioned me, I am Sasso.” He said

                “Oh I see, my son was killed in the rebellion he escaped but was caught and put before the firing squad.”

                “O my dear.” Said Sasso

                “I am afraid I cannot tell you more than that.” said the woman. “Go now you’ll have to excuse me” she said closing the door behind her.

                Sasso burst out crying but understood for the first time in his life he was truly broken hearted. His fiancée had been killed by the authorities and now there was no place for him to go to.  

                Sasso found himself at the docks by the sea. It was night time and the weather was getting fierce, deciding he would consult the Gods about what to do in his present condition he unmoored one of the row boats, and started rowing. Lightning claps could be seen all around him, as the waves became immense and rocked his boat to and fro. Sasso had rowed for about two miles, when he felt his boat starting to go in circles. Suddenly but furiously Sasso had penetrated the eye of a whirlpool, being knocked out of the boat and taken under. Sasso tried to swim with a passion for life reborn, but it was too late, his body was taken from the row boat and down to the bottom of the sea by the whirlpool.

 

                The next day on My Tamun, the elder Tabul needed some consolation about his missing apprentice. He sought to climb the steps of the tower to the chapel where he knew Sasso had gone for refuge. A glowing light was seen from the statue of the Buddha, but mysteriously the posture of the statue had changed, now with one hand on his lap, Tabul noticed that the Buddha was holding a Lotus Flower made of Gold. Realizing what had happened. He sighed so “may you rest in peace.” Said Tabul as the lotus blossom stayed in the palm of the Buddha for one hundred and fifty years, before the Monastery was closed down due to the authorities.