Reflection

reflecting on rain

blacktop moonlit holograms

dancing in puddles

Author's Note

All constructive feedback welcome! It's a haiku for those who take note of those things.

For such a tiny piece this one had an interesting genesis. It came out of a process with Lost Soul, with a final word choice made with Inject Positivity. Thank you.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

There might be a million poems that try to describe rain & moonlight, but in this very short one, you've expressed something very original without any clichés . . . quite an accomplishment! I like the way every word is chosen to convey maximum meaning. That's what these short forms are all about (((HUGS)))

[Shannon]

Thank you so much barleygirl. I love wrangling words, sometimes!

[Emomoemi Johnson Newcourt]

Mm. It's such a rarity for a poem describing rain - 3 lines - and yet accurately done. That's talent! Well done.

[Shannon]

Thank you for the read and review. I appreciate you stopping by

[Coyote Poetry]

The days of Summer and the soft warm rain. I liked your words used. Create good place and memory. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Shannon]

Thank you. I feel like I found a nice balance between me (quirky and sometimes over the top word choices) and relatable.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[FJ Davis]

Quite lovely.
A novel and insightful haiku.
Well done!

[Shannon]

Thank you. I try to be novel in my poetry, so appreciate the comment.

[Ana Papaya]

Love it. I forget sometimes how magical those puddles can be. Like jumping into new worlds.

[Shannon]

Exactly! Or spooky. Or beautiful. Thanks Papaya!

[Stan Lee]

Each word has a lot of depth and together this is a pretty marvelous haiku. idk if this is weird but my favorite was holograms. That immediately conjured some beautiful imagery for me. Very nice. :)

[Shannon]

Thank you so much for reading and leaving your thoughts. It's sort of my favourite too. I think it's the most me: using hologram in a haiku about nature. Lol

[jacob erin-cilberto]

a lovely haiku...with deeper meaning....even in the worst times we can find a reason to dance.

love it.

[Shannon]

Thanks so much j. Glad it spoke a little to you.

[Lyn Anderson]

Your work is, sans cliche's -- such is the gift of your unique view of the world. Practical, without unnecessary fluff, which is, a beautiful thing.

[Shannon]

Thank you very much, K. Poetry is an interesting thing for me to explore.

[Lost, n'MT]

I do like the first two lines a lot, but the third line is my favorite a sI feel it evokes both great imagery and positive memories and emotions. I'd also like to state that the entire piece exhibits wonderful imagery, but I really like how "dancing in the puddles" brought this piece to a happier place. I enjoyed the word choices selected (even puddles) and how you crafted this whole haiku while maintaining an organic flow and depicted a story and image in just 8 words.

I do feel "blacktop moonlit "holograms" following "reflecting on the rain' is the most clever line of this piece. However, I still feel "dancing in the puddles" brings warmth and innocence (the cherry on top if you will). I wish I could better describe what I am feeling, but I find this to be a beautiful expressed and a well written haiku which I thoroughly enjoyed.

I appreciate the mention and if I could be of any help.
I think both you and Inject Positivity did well with the final product.

[Shannon]

You were instrumental. The process with you started this, as well as the choice between two versions - twice!
I am glad that you enjoyed it!

[Lost, n'MT]

I appreciate that, thank you.
I did, and I hope you do as well.

[Jacob Clifford]

Very unique way to describe a very universal thing. Very creative.

[Shannon]

Thank you. I sometimes think being a little quirky in how I think either translates brilliantly to poetry or flops!

[Inject Positivity]

What I like about this poem is its absolutely thrilling word choices that captures maximum amount of imagery... The first line grabs the attention of the reader with a view of rain which stunningly connects with the second line with the imagery of moonlit holograms... The last line to me projects a memory of childhood, on a rain filled day where the roads were full of puddles and the rain drops would fall on the puddles and danced in rains harmony...

Your creative mind is getting richer and richer day by day... And I love seeing you revealing your excellent connection with words... Amazing work... Would stay as one of your favorites to me...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[Shannon]

Thank you Dhiman. I am glad you connected deeply with it. And you have clearly been listening to me and my affinity for words.

[Inject Positivity]

Always been an admiration to me S, you know that...

[Bacchus]

i love this.
the second line is gold.
love watching you morph into a stunning poet.

[Shannon]

Thank you so much. I appreciate the feedback. Thats my favourite line, too. I used the last one, complete with a goofy word like puddles to add contrast to the second line.