Honestly Broken

Honestly Broken

A Poem by Sad Penguin
"

A very honest look into my feelings.

"
I'm broken
I'm insecure
I'm afraid
Reaching for the cure

I hide in isolation
Fearing evaluation
Free from prying eyes
All while reaching to the sky

I'm afraid of conflict
Fear of embarrassment
Afraid to be honest to those;
That look a certain way

I'm afraid to fly
I'm too familiar with falling
Its been beaten into my head
Its not my calling

I've moved forward
Also backward
I've become more hidden
I've become more honest

Its all in who you are to me
As to the key
Take the time to listen
You'll unlock more of me

I'm afraid to love you
You never stop hurting me
I'm afraid to not love you
Soon I'll have nothing left

I'm afraid to see the things I desire
I'm afraid to ask for help
I'm afraid to kill myself
Sometimes I just leave a whelp

I used to have a number
Now I have a reason not too
I'm afraid to live
Though never afraid to give

I'm afraid of those my age
I've never known your kind
We've always been different
No need to rewind

I'm afraid of girls
Even though they make the best friends
I'm afraid of what they think
Their negative comments make it easier to never wake again

I'm afraid of my family
They'll never love me
I'm afraid to be around them
I always feel sorry and they rush to smother me

I'm afraid of the future
I fear there's no place for me
Even with all the world has to offer
I'm better left history

I'm afraid to have a child
Even though I'd love to raise one
To pass on our horrible gene's
To live knowing what I've done

I'm afraid to be human
I've never been a person before
I've always been what was wanted of me
Over my lost childhood, I'm still sore

I'm angry I never got to socialize
I'm angry I never got to be around other kids
Dad always told me their trash
Go mind my own biz

I'm angry I never got to do anything
While my sister actually did
She was in trouble
I was the good kid

I'm angry everyone gets what I want
When they just throw it away
What I would give
Just to have that for one day

I'm angry I'm all alone
Its all I've ever been
Sure my parents love me
But I have no real life friends

I'm sad I'm getting older
And its still the same
Sure I get closer
But nothing new to add to my name

I'm crying because I'm tired
Tired of fighting
I want to end it all
Even while typing

I want something for me
Instead of being alone
I want friendship
Socialization
A place to call my own

So I continue to struggle
Without an end in sight
I've promised to never kill myself
I just hope things turn out all right

© 2012 Sad Penguin


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Reviews

awww... such pain. I can relate to the struggles.. man, your writings brings me back memories of my past... -sigh- But don't worry! I love your work.
Please keep writing. =) You have talent and your quite a unique writer yourself.
The pains in life... the sufferings.. can be written down.. by your heart. This is a moving piece. I know you probably wrote this to free yourself from the pain. That's fine. That's what writing is for. Great job with this one! I love your writing..

Posted 10 Years Ago


I understand Sad Penguin, I understand. I truly do. I am alone and I am broken.
But you are a writer! We are all writers! That is something to add to your name, something that IS your name.
Don't stop writing. Emotion is what makes the writer, it's what makes a writer. And in a way, writing is living, is fighting.

Posted 10 Years Ago


This is a beautiful but sad piece. i can sense the hurt that was put into it. I love writing because it gives me a way to escape and write down how i feel. Great job

Posted 10 Years Ago


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I am sitting here alone at three o'clock in the morning reading your sad and heartfelt words and remembering how I once felt the same. I don;t know how old you are but I want to share with you that time does heal the wounded and we grow from the experiences. No wonder you write, the depth of feelings that comes through with your words are what lives in all poets hearts, I think to be a good poet you must feel deeper and longer than most. Enjoy the gift of it but do not let it overwhelm you. Expressing it, sharing it is what is best. Beautiful write

Posted 10 Years Ago



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4 Reviews
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Added on February 29, 2012
Last Updated on February 29, 2012
Tags: Me, Poem, Poetry, Honesty, Honest, Personal, Open, Sad, Sadness, hurt, Hurting

Author

Sad Penguin
Sad Penguin

LA



About
I'm a male in my twenties who is currently going through a rough patch. More than two years ago, I have been diagnosed with the following: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depression, Agoraph.. more..

Writing