Betrayal Tears

Betrayal Tears

A Poem by Sahar moonlight

Tears refuse to leave my eye
Tears fight not to roll down my cheeks
Tears oppose me and don't let me cry
Though I've been trying for weeks
 
Loneliness is eating me
My heart is bound
What may make me free
I tried and searched and never found
 
Once with you I thought I found myself
I wouldn’t let it leave
But I was just trying
To collect water in a sieve
 
You promised to hold my hand
And lead me through my life
But you left me half way
A lonely heart stabbed by a knife
 
Lonely with tears in eyes
Refuse to fall
I know I’d be betrayed
But by my tears, I never expected it at all

© 2012 Sahar moonlight


Author's Note

Sahar moonlight
Its just a poem of a moment.
I was just trying to vent my feelings out.

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Featured Review

Really good frame that the first and last stanza form, with the tears disobeying when you want them to come, refusing to let you release the sadness this way and finding comfort.
Loneliness is a horrible feeling.
I loved the line "Once with you I thought I found myself", an amazing one.
You conveyed your feelings skilledly, keep it up!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

So full of vivid emotions thorughout
nicely done

Posted 12 Years Ago


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AK
It's beautiful! The loneliness and desolateness radiated by the poem is wonderful! It was exhilarating!

Posted 12 Years Ago


A nice poem filled with emotions....
Tears.... they really are traitors ... They betray you always....
Nicely penned down!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Awww, I'm sorry for what ever happened :/ But this is a great poem. I love the flow, it was a fairly easy read. Hope to read more of what you have to offer! Keep up the good work :P

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

...and vent you did, natty...as we all must do from time to time
very descriptive and heartfelt write
loved the line "collect water in a sieve"...that pretty much sums it up
beautifully written
allen

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I'm really late on this one. Sorry bout that!
That was a really powerful poem. I liked the rhyme scheme, it just seemed to flow. The emotions are exactly what I was feeling a couple days ago, so this really connects to me. :) Loved it!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Awesome

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The structure of the poem is nice and simple, so was the wording, but emotions flow with the lines smoothly as well. I know how you feel, having the emotion of loneliness, and it's really quite a torturous and horrible feeling.
Nice job, keep it up!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i just love this... 100/100

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is awesome:-)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1980 Views
17 Reviews
Rating
Added on January 12, 2012
Last Updated on January 12, 2012
Tags: friend, lover, reality, hurt, sad, betrayal, tears

Author

Sahar moonlight
Sahar moonlight

France



About
Hello everybody. Here is Sahar. I am from Lebanon living in France. I'm a mathematician but sometimes I find in myself the will to write something. I enjoy reading a lot and I was glad to join this.. more..

Writing

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