What is love?

Just an observation... and my thoughts, i guess.

You could trawl the internet for hours and you would find hundreds of different definitions of love. Ask friends, family, colleagues, strangers and even children; you will get another hundred different definitions. Ask lovers; past, present, and future and they too will give you different definitions.

I have asked myself this very question, maybe more than a hundred times, and I have given myself different and sometimes contradicting answers. It is of no mystery to me that no one can give a definitive meaning of what love is. Isn’t that the true meaning and beauty of love, that it has no answer, it has no true form, it has no identity; it is a shapeshifter.

It is different to every person that feels it, and different still to every person they feel it towards.

For instance, I love my mother, I love my brother, I love my nephew and my father. I love my friends, I love my exes, I love my colleagues and I love strangers. I love music, I love books, I love movies and I love art. I love all of these things in very different ways. Of course, it would be strange, and frowned upon, if you loved your mother in the same way that you loved your husband. So, it is both expected and understandable that there is no clear definition or description of what love is. No two people will love in the same way, this is the reason that relationships break down. We fall into a trap of believing that love should be felt in a particular way; that it should be delivered in a certain way; it should be seen, by ourselves and by others, in a certain way.

Love is unselfish, but we become selfish with love. We begin to dictate how a person should be showing us their love. We tell them how they can or cannot show their love to other people. We even tell them who they can and cannot love. This is not love, this is ownership.

 

So, what is love? This is my own interpretation.

Love is acceptance. Love is not about finding that one person who ‘completes’ you, but finding a bunch of people who compliment you. It is extremely selfish and unfair to expect one person to be able to fulfil and satisfy all of your needs. Your husband may be unable to give you something that your best friend can. That colleague you share coffee with on your lunch break, may be able to offer you those words of wisdom that your mother never could. That stranger on the bus will give you a reassuring smile, where your girlfriend failed.

People will give you all that they can in a given moment, or time period; it is completely down to you whether you choose to accept what they are capable of giving and love them regardless, or move on with no negativity in your heart.

 

Love is accepting a person, in their entirety. Imperfections, flaws and all. You can’t just love a person for their smile; the way they stand so perfectly while they’re cooking you pancakes, just the way you like them; they way their hair falls just slightly over their face while they sleep. Once you’ve seen their dark and ugly side, and you still love them and accept them. Even, sadly, when it is not reciprocated, but you love them still. That’s love, my friend.

 

Accepting.

Lenient.

Understanding.

Love.

Author's Note

Just my thoughts, they change a lot. This thought will be updated, changed and maybe even left redundant as time goes on.

Reviews

[Rynn]

"You could trawl the internet for hours and you would find hundreds of different definitions of love." - 'Troll'? I like the initial 'voice' of this piece.

"Ask friends, family, colleagues, strangers and even children; you will get another hundred different definitions. Ask lovers; past, present, and future and they too will give you different definitions." - Very honest writing. Relatable observation.

"It is of no mystery to me that no one can give a definitive meaning of what love is. Isn’t that the true meaning and beauty of love, that it has no answer, it has no true form, it has no identity; it is a shapeshifter." - I adore these lines! You hit the nail on the head.


"So, it is both expected and understandable that there is no clear definition or description of what love is. No two people will love in the same way, this is the reason that relationships break down. We fall into a trap of believing that love should be felt in a particular way; that it should be delivered in a certain way; it should be seen, by ourselves and by others, in a certain way." - I love that you've called upon these reflections that almost feel like reminders ; or a sort of explanation for why we fall apart. It promotes the underlying idea of being gentle with ourselves in the matters of love.

"Love is unselfish, but we become selfish with love. We begin to dictate how a person should be showing us their love. We tell them how they can or cannot show their love to other people. We even tell them who they can and cannot love. This is not love, this is ownership." - The sense of manipulating this shapeshifter, love, and bending it to our will is a fantastic description. It's the devastating realization that there is a promotion of the idea of love as a slave to man. It is what we make of it, and whether it's own abstract intentions fall into line with ours - has yet to be determined.

Overall I think you've constructed a very conceptually correct piece of writing. I love your descriptions and your writing flowed really well. I think you could also consider changes to the piece's anatomy and think more towards a poetry approach. I think those lines would make a beautiful prose poem. Thank you kindly for the read, lovely! Write on

[SamSim27]

Thank you very much for your in depth analysis it is highly appreciated.

Trawl, as in, searched thoroughly. The word just seemed to fit.

I like to try my hand at poetry, but i feel like it comes out forced sometimes, I've written a fair bit of poetry in the past. So maybe that's a new avenue for me to practice more.

Thank you again, your feedback is invaluable.

[Rynn]

Ahh - okay it's not a word I'm familiar with, thank you for explaining! I quite enjoy your lines as they are as well

[Unspoken poet]

Wow!! Very nicely written and thought out

[SamSim27]

Thank you :)