Twilight Ramblings

The racing thoughts that descend when the sun goes down

I struggle to sleep

The mountains too steep

And the waters too deep

I’m just fighting to keep

My head above water to stop me from drowning

I’m screaming so loud but I can’t make a sound and

I’m fighting so hard for a chance to be found and

The ones that can see me, can’t see that I’m fighting

Is that because I’m just hiding the fight and

Concealing the mites that are trying to bite and

I’m hiding out here just out of sight and

Starting to think that it’s all in my mind and

Maybe just maybe I’m doing just fine.

Only I’m not doing fine, if I can’t be alone

All that I do is cry when alone

I get kinda sad when left on my own

I’m just so tired, I can’t even sleep alone

I lay awake all night just tryna atone

Tryna make up for things that I cannot condone

Tryna make up for all the chances I’ve blown

Tryna take back all the stones that I’ve thrown

And pull back all the birds that have flown

But they’re flying away like some sorta drone

I have to keep fighting just to keep control

Getting through the day is my only goal

Trying my best just to keep myself whole

The only thing about me that’s whole is my soul

And the thing about my soul, is it’s so damn strong

It’s the only thing that’s kept me alive for so long

It’s the well-built life force that pulls me along

And up to this point it’s not steered me wrong

I just haven’t quite found the place I belong

Maybe I have and there’s just something I’ve missed

The idea of death I’ve played with and kissed

But I guess in the end the idea is dismissed

And on with this life I just must persist

I’ll keep up the fight and continue to exist

Until I get the life of which I have wished

Coz whatever I say I just can’t resist

The thought that this story just might have a twist