He fought well (prose poem)

War poem.

He fought well, that much can be said.
But was it national pride or employment,that armoured his heart and head?

Never mind, they keep the dogs well fed ,and only a few innocents have been left in his stead. Worked hard,boots polished ,grimace fashioned.Not bad for a lad from nothing, nowhere.

"Forget the papers mate, they've nothing left to say"
But a scene is fixating to his cranium,Sliding about in there,Sand in his boots, something sticky on top.
The sound of distant praying, not so distant that day.

"How else?" Some would ask
The minds not a bottomless cask to be filled with others wishes,Lies of riches, not all of them financial.Many a Faustian pact was drawn up,Using pride in place of blood.


An easy trick on all lowborn,When you're belongings are shorn, nothing left but instinct.
What's left after you crumble someone down? A woman may have the worries of others.
But look inside that mans head,and be wary of what you see,Violent notions, tribal zeal, how He reacts to female screams...............And old pride, destroyer of worlds.

To be fair
It's a non sense world for the ancient brains of men.Killers were once held high for protecting family and friend. But it's no longer defending home and hearth.
Your killing for men you've never met! returning carbon to the Earth
Your paid the same as bakers,At the end of Their day,it's work.They get to put down their bread, where will you place your dead?
For is that not your work? In the cold light of unmolested sight?

I won't harass you any further with high headed talk,for I could have been you,autumn in Winchester, bound for the tank corp. Images of cowering families pulled on my strings. I walked away sweetly,leaving young friends with bitter feelings.

All you hard men say what you will, for I have the strength to resist the urges,to dominate and kill. I see them inside us all,old feelings making us ill.

You can be pushed head first into a culture of violence, or take a look at our a world and figure out what is righteous.

Author's Note

Another prose poetry experiment, too much? Only you the viewer can decide.

Reviews

[JR Darewood]

Wow, that was painful, but in a good way. I love the Faustian pact using pride in place of blood.
I've never really read much prose poetry... I enjoy the format, sort of a rhyming stream of consciousness.

[Samuel Jack]

This is my version of prose poetry, based on my understanding of it. It's a tough one to nail down, as prose poetry can be many different things, apparently. I have no formal education in poetry to really know :)
Thanks for the review

[Rahul]

I think it could be a great story.

[Samuel Jack]

It kind of is already, that's my idea of prose poetry, a story in fragments, or a poem stretched out. Thanks for the review.

[Sami Khalil]

A splendid prose poem. Another great message you share with us...Awesome...:)

[Samuel Jack]

Thank you, I'm still trying to get the prose poetry more refined, It's hard to not to slip into couplets(I think I did a few times)

[Sami Khalil]

OK. You are welcome...:)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

A lot of very profound thoughts in this piece. There is a strength in your words that sings its own bittersweet melody. War is one of those things that a person can't seem to wrap their head around, and yet it is something that has been a part of humanity since the dawning of time. As a species, we have a certain bloodthirsty need for war, and yet we also have remorse. The human mind is often unable to process the horrors of this type of things. Very well described, and for a prose piece, i don't think it is too much at all.

[Samuel Jack]

You hit the nail on the head Ms Friday, thanks for the well thought out review :)

[DCT ponderings]

Samuel profound question….powerful thoughts.

It's a non sense world for the ancient brains of men. Killers were once held high for protecting family and friend. But it's no longer defending home and hearth.
Your killing for men you've never met! returning carbon to the Earth

The reptilian brain lives in all of us. It is an innate part of fight or flight, hard wired into our DNA. I have known many soldiers many who entered the service for career or to further their education. A price I always thought was too great to pay for learning. For I believe their evolution is pushed in the wrong direction, training ingrains their survival instinct. And as you say for what? I have seen great men left haunted, forever changed.

[Samuel Jack]

It's not a good payoff is it? I looked at some of the baby faced lads I was training with and imagined them killing or killed, it freaked me out. I wasn't really army material to begin with, just desperate for a career, and that's the story for most soldiers. Thanks for the thoughtful review.

[Sirius King]

Your killing for men you've never met! returning carbon to the Earth
Your paid the same as bakers,At the end of Their day,it's work.
They get to put down their bread, where will you place your dead?

I love these words
Very Powerful Piece!

[Samuel Jack]

Thank you, the praise means a lot when it comes from a man of many words, such as yourself.

[Shweta Singh]

There are some very profound thoughts discussed...yes,I agree with most of them but I'd like to add a point or two which my brother had shared as an army officer himself & he talks about the hopelessness &fear of the soldiers...these brutal looking men are actually very insecure but your thoughts can inspire them...yet another thought-tibet faced chinese aggression because they did not have an army & believed in ahimsa...it's only possible when ahimsa & non armed nation becomes a universal phenomena..amen.

[Samuel Jack]

Interesting ideas Shweta, but I do feel it will literally take thousands of years to evolve our inbuilt tribal ways. As I say in the poem, I nearly completed army training myself, out of desperation for a career, but then realised it was not for me. So I understand that soldiers are not born killing machines, but when it comes down to it, that is Their role in society, killing. I would love humanity to evolve in my life time or even my sons, but I just don't see it.

[Shweta Singh]

I

[Rita L. Sev]

There is a lot of power in this piece, Samuel. So many great lines, starting with the opening. Also was impressed with this: "It's a nonsense world for the ancient brains of men. Killers were once held high for protecting family and friend. But it's no longer defending home and hearth..."

You have some consistent rhyme throughout, which leads me to think that you could tweak this easily to be a rhyming piece, presented in couplets. I feel like you were not sure yourself if you would stick with the rhyme or not.
Some deep images here, and overall a worthy poem!

[Samuel Jack]

I wanted a meandering rhythm to it, my idea of prose poetry is a stretched out idea. I'm still refining it. I wanted little bits of rhyme just to propel it along. Thanks for the review

[ANTO]

I was knocked out by the one-twos that you delivered at the beginning Samuel - for example this -
"...But was it national pride or employment,that armoured his heart and head? " followed by this - "...Never mind, they keep the dogs well fed.." Thats just like the poetry that I read that made me see poetry in a new light - like the poetry of Wilfred Owen and Sassoon.
Me? I would have stopped at the end of the fourth stanza - but then i wouldn't have read this - "...I walked away sweetly,leaving young friends with bitter feelings. " another gem.

Im sure my lack of stamina coupled with natural need to hurry has affected much of my view of this work Samuel. Maybe someone else will help clarify this

Peace

[Samuel Jack]

Take your time with it, remember its prose, like reading a book. But I see what you mean, I may have been over indulgent, but I do t think I would have got all of the story across. I wanted it to be almost a psychedelic war story. Thanks for the well thought out review.