Consumers Hotline for Her

I feel if like if I had this as my voicemail, then this is how the call would go.

Dialing number......
Dialing number......
Dialing-

Hi! Welcome to Her body.
We, the minds behind Her,
would like to direct you to your destination.
For Her thoughts and feelings, press 1.
For Her complete attention, press 2
For Her sexuality, press 3
For Her, 'beep'

You have selected Her sexuality
Please select one of the following, if you would like to return to menu then press *
If you are a female, press 1
If you are a male, press 2
For 'beep'

You have selected male
Please select one of the following,
If you are here to get to know her, press 1....
If you are to go on a date with her, press 2...
If you are here to get sexually involved with her, press 3...
'Beep'

Sorry but the position of " The Boyfriend " is already taken.

Call ended