Till DeathA Story by SandrA man who realizes his mistakes too late.As I lay dying I look around this horrid room. The walls bleached white and offering no warmth. I know I’m selfish, but I can’t help but let my eyes drift yet again to the door. I imagine a beautiful women graying with age, sweet eyes surrounded by wrinkles. Thin lips set in a small smile as she asks me how I’m doing. But no one comes, save for the nurse who periodically checks my chart. Disappointment is all I feel and occasionally grief mixed with guilt, for throughout my life I considered myself a business man at heart. Everything became a transaction to me; everything was signed off on and agreed upon over long meetings. A kiss for my wife became a task that was to be preformed every morning at eight before I left for work. A simple ‘I love you’ became a customary statement to cut a call short with her. I remember how my beautiful wife had wanted kids, but after reviewing the information regarding expenses I deduced that having kids would be irrational in that stage of my career. Everything became numbers and charts and my wife decided to escape that life of calculations. I don’t blame her. She probably found herself a man who knew how to enjoy life. I wish I could have been that man. I always told myself that I would be someday, once I raised enough money to live comfortably, but it seems I missed my chance. I waited too long and now my only comfort is the beeping of the heart monitor beside me that assures me that for now I am still alive. I’ve had dreams of picking up the phone and calling her up. Telling her what a fool I was, but dreams are called dreams for a reason. I know my place; I’ve picked this cold hospital room over my loving wife. I signed happiness away in return for money and as a businessman I am bound to keep my contract till death. © 2013 SandrFeatured Review
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10 Reviews Added on July 13, 2013 Last Updated on July 13, 2013 Tags: Realization, thought, guilt Author
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