Cornered Animal

...How paranoia insanity is to me....

You're just another drop of tears,
To form my wishing well,
I'll toss a penny to stir the calm,
Rippling this heaven right to hell,

Don't come near me in my rage,
Because my tongue is yet a blade,
Imprisoning your heart in my hands,
And squeezing it with hate,

I swear it was never you,
Its my state of mind,
My mentality has killed itself,
This paranoia starts to grind,

Drilling voices in my head,
Don't come near me! Go away! 
Enemies on every side closing in...

And I, as a cornered animal lash out,

Aggresiveness and insanity,
All in the name of fear,
My head screams in agony,
And I fear, I fear, I fear, I fear,

This darkness overcomes me,
And I suffocate in rage,
Traitor, betrayer, turned on me,
Feeling trapped in your cage,

Don't touch me! I want to be alone!
I'm crazy with these voices,
My head hurts and shrieks in pain,
Theres too many damned choices!

Leave me alone! Dont touch me!
Your words leave me shuddering!
You're a liar out to harm me!
With evil spells you're muttering!

And when I calm down, 
The damage has been done,
Of a cornered animals instincts,
Whose psychoticness has won

Author's Note

A more of an explanitory poem for someone... I'm so sorry I push you away... Its... Not... Me... I get like a cornered animal when people get too close; and I don't mean to... And I end up hurting lots of people I love because of this...

Reviews

[duck]

felt the pain and destruction in the poem. loved key words such as and I quote "paranoia" and drilling voices in the head clearly shows of a not well mind. brilliantly described. leave me alone and wanting to escape shows situation and needing help. the poem tittle is very eye catching and draws in the reader to find out and dig deep into your poetry. wonderful work and I thank you for sharing.

[LazerRays]

thank you so much for your review! its much appreciated. im glad this caught your eye and hope you enjoyed it!

[Chris Shaw]

An honest account about your mental health. Caged animals want to lash out when they are cornered. I understand that's how you must feel.
A powerful write which may help some to understand why you do the things you do. You push away the ones who love you out of fear. I have a loved one with similar problems Sarah.

Chris

[LazerRays]

Thank you Chris, I'm glad you understand :) it's something i wish i could change about myself but sadly there isn't much to be done for me. I'm kinda A lost hope or too far down the path. But ah well, acceptance is the closest I'll get to redemption. Thank you again!

[Chris Shaw]

If you are understood that helps. Take care.

[Abhishek Izy]

This is such a powerful and heavily human piece. This is a statement shouting loud of the complexity which resides in us and how it shows up in some situations. This is a very complicated soup of human emotions. The words are chosen so well. This makes me feel you as a less stranger and more of someone I always knew, cuz again this is so real and human in its sensitivity. This is an incredible write. I’m a fan

[LazerRays]

Thank you! That means so much when people take their time to review my pieces :D
Same to you, we're definitely not strangers anymore. And you can be a friend, not a fan hahaha. Fans are for celebrities :) thank you again!

[Abhishek Izy]

You caught me there. I also believe being called a "fan" is outrageously nonsensical. Even to celebrities. Its either I am your friend or a stranger in love with your work. The heck with the terminology called "fan".

Please keep writing forever,cuz we are dying breed and we can't really reproduce artists in any way ;) :)

[LazerRays]

Haha! That was well said! You're right, there's no way artists can breed... Sigh. Of cours I'll keep writing, you do the same! We'll write until the pen falls out of our hand and we get old enough to choke on our own vomit and die. Happy days!

[Abhishek Izy]

You gotta give me a better way to die lol!!!

[LazerRays]

ok, how is being run over by a steamroller?

[Abhishek Izy]

Lol you are too cruel for a fifteen year old 😂😂😂😂

[LazerRays]

hahahahha! I'll take that as a compliment!

[barleygirl]

This poem must've taken all your courage to write becuz it comes across as so authentic. As we discussed before, I also am chronically stand-offish -- for different reasons -- but I totally love how you are able to tap into your sensations & convey so honestly, without shame or excuse. The most important step of healing & coping & thriving is when we can finally embrace all our brokenness as you are doing in this message. You are getting to some amazing milestones much earlier in life than I ever did, so I'm proud of you! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[LazerRays]

Ah Thank you so much! Well It didn't matter the courage when it came to explaining this to someone.... I would do anything for them and I wish they'd understand... I don't mean to be harsh an lash out but it wasn't my intention. I hope this is another celebration for you and not a downer. Hugs back! I appreciate your review! It's people like you who make my day :)

[¿]

Mmmm....Now I feel it's not about the rage only...there's something intense to be noted in the angry persons....something like Paranoia.... this word's totally new to me though....
Am too timid to handle any ferocious mind...someday I might learn and now I'll listen to ya...Won't touch you!😁 Jokes apart, the first stanza was Splendid in one word! at least for me ;)
Thanks so much for sharing this, Your Highness🙇

[LazerRays]

oh is it? hmm i do like the word paranoia. hahahahah too timid? eh. its fine. hahahah! ok! thanks for not touching me :P
and youre welcome, peasant. Hahahaha im kidding! just teasing! thanks for the review!

[¿]

You're kidding! Just teasing! And rhyming!😁 (tis midnight here and I shan't giggle too much..)read moreYou're kidding! Just teasing! And rhyming!😁 (tis midnight here and I shan't giggle too much..)
You know that you're welcomed ;)

[LazerRays]

hahahahahah no you shouldnt giggle and wake others up. i usually slam my face in my pillow when i feel the urge to laugh hahahah

[¿]

😖😖😖holding my laughter tight!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

'feeling trapped in your cage' - this line sticks to me for some reason.
It's not a bad thing to lash out sometimes, I think..and who better to take it out on if not for your loved one? If they love you, they'd understand without you even trying to explain. Your 'psychoticness' feels more like trust issues to me but idk.
I like how open you are in your writes, something which I have yet to achieve. I could learn from you ;)

[LazerRays]

Eh that line is kinda like claustiphobia. But its kinda like seeing monsters on every side and not having choices. So just imagine a panicked person running around in a maze hitting dead end after dead end freaked out and desperate to get out.... And then when the monsters are gone its all calm and confortable.... Its my mind that puts the monsters in. But yeah, it def is trust issues. But its for everyone. In those moments no on can touch me...
But the thing is; not all loved ones stay. You can never tell a breaking point for them... And its considerablw to at least have them than scare tgem off....

[Onlyme]

I think you are not alone Sarah, in this thinking and expressing yourself in your poetry. I could really feel your anxiety, stress and raw deep painful emotions talking in this piece. You can see you struggle with this dilemma and don't wish to be like that at times. Like you said. When you have been hurt in the past. It's our bodies and minds crazy way of protecting us. From further fear we think will happen to us. Paranoia is not a nice thing to feel and when it does hit you. It crippling and weakens your normal thoughts and paralysis them. I too at times. Have felt this when my depression and anxiety has really troubled me. I too also want to shut myself away from everyone and be alone. Think I am a bad person. Very relatable and understandable.

[LazerRays]

Im sorry that you have felt this too... Thank you, for expressing your care and relatability. Sigh; its hard letting this person get this close. Theyre the most important to me and i cant help but go psychotic and lash out... I get scared theyll hurt me... And i know they say they wont but im so twisted in the head in my mind i cant trust everyone. And the hate....

Thanks for the review! Much appreciated!

[Onlyme]

Maybe letting them read this poem. Just you both alone. Might help him understand how you feel. And how much they mean to you. Never give up. honest. Dawn. I just want you to know you not alone ever too. See mine I did. You inspired me to share mine.

[LazerRays]

I guess... :) thanks again! Im so thankful!

[Onlyme]

just do what you feel, will make you feel better. Long time. Regards this person, and yourself.