Me (in a nutshell)

I'm too sexy for this nutshell...

My sexual prowess and animal magnetism are legendary and it is widely reported that I solve systems of partial differential equations in my head to pass the time while enduring the inane chatter of nuclear physicists.

 

I am the envy of all men, for I am universally beloved of women who have met me.  Indeed, women who meet me inevitably despair, for no other man can hope to compare.  I feel bad for them.  My wife is exceedingly fortunate but I am magnanimous and try not to point it out too often.

 

I use self-deprecating humor merely as a device to set ordinary folk around me at ease, though, when all is said and done, I am a spectacular specimen on all counts; there is no hiding it.

 

Truly, I am almost beyond human. It's a wonder I deign to mingle with mortals at all.

 

At least, that's what I assume it means when women tell their friends I have a "great personality" and "good sense of humor".  After all, I hear women value those traits and I have both...

Author's Note

It's a self-deprecating joke. If you are offended in any way, I beg you - reread it. If that still doesn't work... Bridgey made me do it. ;)

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Mason,

Maybe you're the envy of all men, but not the envy of Gods like me, let me assure you. And let me also assure you that my wife is very glad that your wife hasn't met me. That's one fewer woman that she'll have to fight off, because you sound like an absolute light-weight compared to me.

And I know exactly what you mean about those nuclear physicists. Why just the other day I heard two of them in the hall talking:

"You know, that reaction starts at a temperature of 20 million degrees," said the first nuclear physicist.

"Is that Kelvin of Centigrade?" asked the second.

Can you imagine! Oh my God....

But then we astrophysicists are used to being so superior to everyone else. That's just the way it is and we have to get used to it.

Next time try and write a better story. This one stinks. But I guess it is SO... you. Now if you could write poem about me, then at least you'd have something. But I guess that's below you abilities. I guess I'll have to do that myself.

I pity you,

Rick

...Nice job. I enjoyed it a lot!

[Robert Francis Callaci]

a devilish bit of fun- Love the ending- that's what women say about me as well:)


my warmest
bob

[mae-mae<3]

Um.... huh?!?!??! I am so confused. BIG WORDS BIG WORDS!!! I was lost after "My sexual..." Um... my brain... it's melting... too many... big words... I feel a poem coming on. Ciao!

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ENCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I made you do nothing!!! LOL
This was great! Very slick, very sharp and especially funny!!!!!!! I love the swagger only to come back to being comedic!

"I use self-depricating humor merely as a device to set ordinary folk around me at ease, though, when all is said and done, I am a spectacular specimen on all counts; there is no hiding it."

No one buys your modesty Mason! You're a stud and this piece tells it completely! Your confidence, your attention to detail, you're a stud and you're right.... We're not worthy!

[Lady leah]

Very nicely penned. good write.