Offering Her Up

Offering Her Up

A Poem by w
"

Saying goodbye can be fun.

"

She’s sleeping,
lying there
before me.

 

Standing over her
I witness glory.

 

Her multi-hued hair
frames a face
that Aphrodite
is jealous of
which is delicate,
serene and calm.

 

And calm I struggle with
as I watch her chest
rise and fall,

 

her unsymmetrical
bare, beautiful breasts,
so young and perky,
lie above the sheet
that is draped
over her hips
which are
attached to
her legs
that I would love
to see spread wide
for my viewing pleasure,

 

but as I step forward
her deep brown eyes flutter
and they quickly take me in.

 

As her mouth opens to scream
I raise up my god.

 

“I came to see you off to your heaven.”

© 2012 w


Author's Note

w
The pacing is supposed to change throughout the piece. Read a line break as a continuous thought. Punctuation is self-explanatory.

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Reviews

Quite an arousing write.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Beautiful and sensual...I love the sequence and the thought process and everything. It's all very nice! Definitely going to my faves!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

w

11 Years Ago

Thank you so much, I am glad you enjoyed it
"I witness glory... I raise up my god." OMG.

Put this on wbeat

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

w

11 Years Ago

Done. and thanks. :)
You're really great at painting a scene along with the moods in a lot of your pieces, this one included. I also liked the flow of this, very fluid and great lead up to the climax at the end.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

w

11 Years Ago

Thank you for continuing to read.
Okay well the ending was a little... creepy (not sure if that's the right word for it) but it made the poem amazing. Well done.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

w

11 Years Ago

:)
As her mouth opens to scream
I raise up my god.

“I came to see you off to your heaven.”

For some reason I don't understand those parts =/ Besides that, I liked this poem :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


w

11 Years Ago

god = gun

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Added on July 16, 2012
Last Updated on July 16, 2012

Author

w
w

Cincinnati, OH



About
I climb inside my mind through the windows to the soul that I sold for a kiss in the fourth grade. I write about the adventures I have in my schizophrenic mind and the scars that my past has left. .. more..

Writing
slanguage slanguage

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