Normal?

There is no normal.

Shaking hard,
fast �" violently.
No wind.
No Trees.
Just me,
twitching
and writhing.
Assured my skin
is going to rupture.

Pills.
Lots of pills.
Good pills,
bad pills.
Happy pills,
sad pills.
A myriad
of f*****g pills.

Look at all
the pharmaceuticals!

Some pills work,
well, they all work,
just not always how they should.
Or at least how they
explained to me they would
with my makeup �"
my chemistry.

And the treatment
for the pills that
are not performing their
designated function?

More pills.
Talk it out
(blow it out).
Mental and physical
exercises �"
that would
exasperate
a sane man
and exasperate me
ten times ten times more.

So instead of whining
(okay I like to whine),
I take my god forsaken
pills �" all of my lovely pills
and I breathe another last breath
knowing that these
pills
are what keep me …
keep me …
keep me …

After blacking out
I feel better �"
never perfect,
never perfect.

Emotional,
psychological,
physical,
podiatrical
pain �"
any and all
pain,
which I believe
are separate
and yet tied together
impact a single layer,
but bleed into another layer,
bleeding,
bleeding.

Some, however,
believe all pain stems
from a single pain
and that begins
as a minor thing
and erupts into
a Vesuvius
that turns us all to
ashen statues
unable to break free
and not knowing if we died
or lived.

Even acknowledging
that each pain is separate
is acknowledging that
there is more pain
than what they say
may exist
in my world,
my body,
my mind.

And isn't acknowledging
that it spreads
acknowledging
that there is more
than one type of pain
and isn't that acknowledging
that pain is more different
than separate?

But perhaps they
are right.
Perhaps they
know more than I �"
who lives through it every day.

Who are they?
The they who
constantly plague me
in my mind,
in my head,
on my couch,
in my chair.

Perhaps they are right.

Perhaps … perhaps

But no matter the source,
pain is still pain
and anyone can inflict it
with a flick of the tongue
and a form of the lips
or perhaps a gesture
and a look.

But pain.

Instead of fixing
the pain,
it just gets worse
and when it gets worse
do you turn to self-medication
and abandon your "treatment"
and become someone
who feens for something
(it's all addictive �" trust me)
day and night?
Or do you have
HOPE
where all hope has died
and pray to your deities
that one day
you too
will be normal �"

Whatever the f**k
that is.

Reviews

[Admiral Kirk]

I know what you mean by pain... So much pain. And no one sees my pain, they just laugh. They think I'm being funny. But I am serious, if you don't change the volume from 14 to 15 I will SCREAM. Another weird quirk is that I don't WANT the disorders to go away, because I have always wanted to be totally separate and different from everyone else, so I want them to stay. And then comes even MORE pain because I know they WILL... Sadly, I like it... But don't sweat it man, only about 10% of the population is 'normal'. There's a whole lot more of us than you would think... :) Thanks for sharing this wonderful poem.

[Corset]

I can not even imagine how difficult it must be to hear and feel the pain of others, on such a level as this. I know that is not what science says, it is what I say, some people are extraordinarily gifted , receptors if you will , of the pain of the individuals past and present, and also unseen entities that reside on another plane but parallel to ours , so many times doctors label this phenomena as schizophrenia. They stuff it into bottles that will sometimes subdue the receptors so that daily life can be dealt with, when science finally realizes what is going on maybe there will be real help to deal or control this phenomenon , till then we do what we must.

[Harley (arbiter)]

Hmm. I like it. I don't like pills. And most pain is just in the mind. When I'm sick I keep going and tell myslef "I'm not sick" and it usually works. I want natural healing. I will only take pills if its THAT bad and that's not much. Great write