For Camilo

My heart lies in Haarlem, still

Swimming through the years, breast stroke. I feel calm and more sure of myself now. The flashing lights and thumping music, smoke and beer seem a part of me now. It is the usual. The ups and downs of life, he is teaching me about this, as we sat together on a bench in the rain, with our flip flops, camera, and tears. And then I realized it while in his shower, with sunlight pouring through the skylight and the warm drops rolling over me. This cycle is ending, but others are beginning. Do not be sad, for this is how it always is. He loves me, and I love him. He says it’s like a flame, let it never die while it burns, but don’t pretend that it is immortal. All things come to an end. I am more sure of myself, now. Knowing the pitfalls, and when to catch myself. I know the dark emptiness, and understand that I must face it still.

Destiny. This he teaches me as well. Perhaps we could be together, maybe not, as the trails of the future billow out like rising waves in a dark sea, rippling through each other, of all the possible paths that could be, or will be, or should be. Spread out before me, I feel myself cresting the whitecaps, slowly now at the tipping point, descending in the surf of this ending wave. Again, I will be brought up again. Circles, waves, logarithms, chaos into patterns. In his sunlit bathroom in the shower I had an epiphany, while the grey cat was scratching at the door.

Reviews

[SamBug]

good write. I liked it. It was a fantastic little poem.