A Chapter by Screamplay

It only takes a second to shatter someone's life.


Reality is such a wonderful wakeup call. It was true when they said you never fully appreciate what you have until it’s gone…until it’s gone forever.


She was proof that all the truly horrible things happen to the very best of people. So horrible, that it had to be a closed-casket service.


Her father, the county’s DA was stone faced and his cheeks were stained with tears. He had been the one to identify the body, and I could tell it had completely broken him.


I knew nearly exactly how he felt, but the death of his daughter had crushed him far more then it did me. He had been the one to identify the body, she had been his little girl, his little princess, his whole world. He and his wife, Marie had separated after eighteen years of marriage, and so she had been the only thing he had. He stood alone, in his best suit, hair combed back and mouth set in a hard line as the rain drenched him.


It was cold, rainy and miserable, just like I felt as I stood there, my eyes locked onto her diamond-white casket with gold trimming. I had found her. I was the one to see the brutal state he left her in before it was cleaned and cleared away by the Coroner’s crew. The last time I would ever see her face was burned into my mind and I’m sure Mr. Daniels felt the same way.


I closed my eyes and the horrible scene formed in my mind.


The ugly pentagram harshly carved into her chest, her skin starch white and cold, the second half of her body missing, and her head, where it was supposed to be, but separated from her neck. Blood everywhere.


Even with all the gore, all the mess, the one thing that had hit me the hardest, pained me to my core, were her eyes as they stared un-seeing at me. They were foggy and glassed over, blank, dead, cold, lifeless….


Remembering that terrifying scene caused me to choke up and release a heavy sob as hot tears made their way down my cheeks, burning my eyes and skin.

I stared at the picture of her perfect, smiling face, sun tanned skin, chestnut locks and moss green eyes. She was always giving to other people, always so kind and compassionate, so beautiful and giving.


Hallee Daniels. She had been my best friend since the third grade, when I had moved here. When everyone else had shied away from ‘the new girl with the strange eyes’, she took me in and befriended me.


We had been through everything together and now that she was gone, who would I go to? Who would I spend all my lonely Saturday nights with? Tell all my secrets to? Speed down main street with the top down, screaming my lungs off?


I didn’t want to believe that she was gone that, that….mess had been my Hallee, I wanted to believe that they had made a mistake, and it wasn’t her. I wanted to have the hope that maybe she wasn’t dead.


There was not such hope. All future thought of it existing disappeared when I walked into her room. I had seen her face, eyes open wide, the terror she had felt just before she died permanently locked in them, mouth bloody and partially open.

She had died alone, cold, and scared out of her mind.


So many times since that night have I wished that had been me instead of her. It was my fault, I had turned down her sleepover request that afternoon over the phone. If I had gone, none of if would’ve happened, or maybe it would have, at least we’d have died together.


It positively killed me knowing that I could’ve prevented it, that I could’ve saved her.


It isn’t your fault Dani, there was no way you couldn’t known.” Mr. Daniels blank try at comfort rang through my head.


“Please, please don’t blame yourself, you’re like my second daughter. Hallee loved you like her sister. She would never want you to blame yourself and neither do I.”

How could I not blame myself for this? I let her down when she needed my help, and now I would have to live with that for the rest of my life.


“….And may she have peace in the arms of the Lord.” The sound of the Pastor slamming his bible closed snapped me out of my thoughts. I hadn’t listened to a word he had said, but it didn’t really matter.


I watched as everyone walked forward, and one by one placed a single, pale pink carnation---her favorite flower----on her casket. All of their faces were stained with tears of remembrance.


I couldn’t stop staring at the picture of her, the tears only coming faster….she was really gone.


“Dani, sweetheart, we need to go.” My father’s voice said behind me, and I felt a warm hand on my shoulder.


“Alright.” I breathed, and tore my eyes away from the photo, and turning away, preparing to walk to the car.


“Dani.” Mr. Daniels said, stopping me, “Thank you, so much for being there for her and being there for our family. I know you’ll be moving soon, but please, keep in touch.”


I nodded, “I will Mr. Daniels, I promise.” I told him. I felt so bad for him, he had just lost the one thing he held truly dear and now he was completely alone.


He attempted a smile and then turned and walked back to the casket, closing his eyes and letting his tears fall.

© 2009 Screamplay

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I am certainly intrigued. I'm not quite sure where this is going, but it's not that important just yet. Great start. My only thing is that I don't know what the protagonist's age is.

Posted 4 Years Ago

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i'm enjoying this read a lot, has me hooked. theres a couple redundant phrases: about him identifying the body, said twice, and she was giving to other people, beautiful and giving, also this line “It isn’t your fault Dani, there was no way you couldn’t known.” should be no way you could've known i think...other than that look forward to reading more.

Posted 11 Years Ago

Entertaining, if it wasn't because you already told this is a vampire story, I'd say this has somewhat the style of John Katzenbach, but narrated from a woman's point of view. There was only one mistake though, which i could notice, you repeated "she" "I wanted to have the hope that she maybe she wasn't dead", perhaps "..." between the first "she" and "maybe" could fix it? or just take off one of them? Anyways, this was a very good writing, and I thoroughly enjoyed it, great work.

Posted 11 Years Ago

Pretty good. Actually magnificent. I didnt find anything wrong with it but im wondering what will happen to her next. Kinda...scary? Well anyways would love it if there was a romantic twist in the tale.

Posted 11 Years Ago

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4 Reviews
Added on December 28, 2009
Last Updated on December 31, 2009
Tags: dark, death



Pueblo, CO

Heey! Um...I love to write, mostly about dark subjects...kinda. I do a lot of original works, as well as fanfiction. Um...if there's anything you'd like to see, just hit me up at [email protected] more..

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