stray

stray

A Poem by Rivaxorus

If I were to die tonight

What would you say

Would you give in to temptation

To your emotions

What would you do

If you couldn’t save me

© 2013 Rivaxorus


Author's Note

Rivaxorus
Touchy feely stuff xD I enjoy writing it, even when I'm really happy like now.

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Reviews

Simple and truthful.

Posted 11 Years Ago


I enjoy the emotions of this piece and the uncertainty. I would like to see the question marks instead of no punctuation. I think this is something we all struggle with. Who will love us if we are close to death.. friends, lovers, loved ones. And how would each react? Definitely so pondersome points in this piece.

Posted 11 Years Ago


big question to one who holds all emotion in. What needs to occur for those emtions to open up? Hope it doesn't have to be something this drastic!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Very interesting,
I like the simple straight forward nature to this piece, few lines say paragraphs in context to your title. It is strong like the simple idea of confronting the fear of watching death to give comfort. This speaks volumes more than just to it's direct implications therefore could even be related to our fellow man. I can think of recent events where such things have been the subject. So talented.
Excuse my ramblings and potentially way off notions.
Sincerely
Christopher

Posted 11 Years Ago


Hi Seimei,

I like that the title is bold and larger. It gives the initial impression and emotion of the piece.

This brings a lot of emotion and thought to me. I wonder what it truly means underneath the lines. If you were dying, would the one you love, love you back? How would they feel if there was nothing they could do to save you? It says give into temptation compared with emotions. Is the person the author loves holding back for some reason? Would death be the only thing to make them admit how they felt?

Powerful piece. I enjoyed it. Thank you.

Jupiter

Posted 11 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like the premise of this, I just wish there was more I find it some how incomplete. < 3 that being said.. it is inviting. Maybe I was wrong and it is complete but it leaves for the reader to reflect and come up with his/her own answer.

Posted 11 Years Ago


A short piece that expresses much. Very good!

Posted 11 Years Ago



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Added on April 28, 2013
Last Updated on April 28, 2013

Author

Rivaxorus
Rivaxorus

Apple Valley, CA



About
Hello there my name is Abby Lawless, although I do prefer the nickname Rivaxorus. I'm Seventeen years old and live in California. I love writing, I'm hoping to make a career and live off of working wi.. more..

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A Poem by Rivaxorus



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