The Thunderstorm of the Mind

Another day has passed.

The night is coming on,

And I begin to ponder

About the day now gone.

 

Like a man drunk on whiskey,

I am inebriated on thought,

Drunk on what could have been,

And what I wish the day was not.

 

I begin to hear the thunder,

Of my mind begin to scream,

how pointless all this is,

to dream this pointless dream.

 

My soul begins to flirt with death,

And desert my body and my mind,

To leave this thunderstorm,

So I may try to find,

Peace,

Love,

And a dream worth dreaming.

Reviews

[Devons]

This is a really good, neat and concise poem that delves into the world of regret and remorse with a nice awareness. The fruitless ponderings of things past and mistakes made; roads and turnings untaken - all brought to mind at that certain point of the day where the mind relaxes and is off-guard, be it light-time or night-time. It is something we should all be able to relate to and feel oddly reassured by this poem.

This stanza is the stand-out for me:

"Like a man drunk on whiskey,
I am inebriated on thought,
Drunk on what could have been,
And what I wish the day was not"

[kewlbluetiger]

Ah, so well written. Love the sentiment in the ending, it was like finding home. Great work!

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Well Written Piece. Loved it.

[i am skeleton jelly]

the rhymes in the 2nd stanza have such a nice flow, i like it a lot

and the rest of it is good too tbh