Love For Dummies

This is extremely long so don't read unless you have the time to sit down and read alll the way through.

Love.

A loaded word.

Love?

A loaded question.

I love you.

Three worn words.

So cliche

And, oh, how the meanings vary.

 

To the abused

I love you

Sends chills rolling like ice down your spine.

 

To the loved

I love you

Brings warmth to your heart, a smile to your face.

 

To the abandoned

I love you

Wakes the need, the desire to feel and be loved.

 

I'm an abandoned.

Abandoned by father.

By friends.

By lovers.

 

Each time, I feel like I found "the one".
Each time I'm terribly wrong.

So I carry baggage.

Don't we all?

Does mine come at too high a price?
Too heavy to share?

Please, it's too heavy for me.

Help me.

 

Look, we've only just met.

Let me tell you my life story.

 

I was born small town.

I crave more.

Something bigger.

I feel like a stranger in my skin.

Ready to come out.

Be me.

Be real.
Can I?
Is it possible?

I would take any risk to feel alive

Climb any mountain

Swim any sea.

I just want to feel,

Something.

 

Pain

Love

Sorrow

Joy

Hate

Relief

 

Anything!

 

Let me out.

I'm caged in.

Locked up.

Key thrown away.

 

Have you given up on me yet?
Why not?
They all do evenutally.

 

Like a twisted love story.

lovehatelovehate

Lines blurred.

Where's the difference between a trajedy

and a fairytale?

 

Do whispers in the dark matter?
Sweet nothings.

Pressed skin to skin.

My own personal trajedy of sorts.

Breathebreathebreathe

I hear them say

But what is there to breathe for?

Trajedy?

I think not.

 

But why do I always melt at the first sign of "love"?

Because I'm a triple digit lover.

I'll give you my heart,

Just tell meyou love me.

Fill the hole that nobody else can.

But please don't see my demons.

Don't see how broken I am.

 

They always do.

They always run.

 

Run.

Please run.

If you can't take me,

fix me,

save me,

 

then leave me.

 

Can you repair a glass dust heart?

 

Can you sew an acid burned hold?

 

Can you ever get your innocence back?

 

Please

 Please

  Please

 

I'm only a child

Don't I deserve to be happy?
If only for a moment?

 

lovehategreed

I don't want friend love.

I don't want family love.

 

I want the real thing.

 

I want to be the only one he sees.

The one he talks about.

The only one that gets to see his gentle side.

I want him to smile when he sees me.

Call me everyday.

Bring me a flower, just because.

Take care of me when I am sick.

 

Call me picky.

Tell me I have high-standards.

 

Don't I deserve it?

I just want to be held.

Kissed.

Hugged.
Protected.

 

Fill the empty space in me.

Just for a while.

So help me put my demons to rest with

 

lovelovelove.

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems, is this too long, should it be seperated into different poems or kept the same