Undertone

I am the deciever, I've broken my own dreams.

I have torn my heart from its flesh.

These self inflicted wounds will be the death of me.

Everything that I stood for was a lie I engraved on my neck.

What pool of blood and filth have I drank from?

As I sit in my own prison cell.

Lifeless watching my demons rip my undying soul to pieces.

Over and over and over.

I laugh at my foolish way of life.

I have buried myself six feet under.

There is no way to return to the surface of the light of salvation.

I will breath no more.

I will fight no more,

I will rest in the earth with lost souls of the world.

Reviews

[Tim]

Nicely done with a flair for horror and dark writing. I can clearly hear the anger and frustration in the speaker's voice. I think it could use some revision as far as punctuation though.

Self-inflicted

What pool of blood and filth have I drank from
as I sit in my own prison cell lifeless,
watching my demons rip my undying soul to pieces,
Over and over and over?

I have have buried myself six feet under. (whoops)

The last three lines seem odd as far as where the period is.

I will breath no more,
I will fight no more.
I will rest in the earth with lost souls of the world.

These are just suggestions. I'm not perfect nor claim to be. Good poem.