You sure messed up, son

You sure messed up, son

A Poem by Sherbs Dreaming Tree Of Poetry

Dreams of making it 
Aspirations of peace and tranquility
Money and Property 
All by the age of 18

Instead you love all you see,
You're just incomplete without a cheap thrill,
Some blind bad man,
These things you speak,
You're just in too deep.

Dancing through the club,
Worshiping the femme fatale,
She hangs on your every word,
Watching your lips move.

She takes you home,
You say, Baby please,
She says its cool, 

Nine months fly,
Your mother she cry,
Your father he nearly die,
When you expect to be free.

2 years pass,
You're in jail,
You stayed in too deep,
Your father he say,
You sure messed up son

© 2011 Sherbs Dreaming Tree Of Poetry

My Review

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i don't know if this was intended, but the monotonous way this is delivered, "this happened, this happened, this happened" gives so much structure to the poem. magnificent.

Posted 7 Years Ago

yet in some ways you can't help buy to feel srry for someone even tho they caused this to themselves

Posted 7 Years Ago

very descriptive, great poem :)

Posted 7 Years Ago

Life is not all roses and this shows that..poignantly so! We can have so much and watch it fade in seconds, superb write xoxo

Posted 7 Years Ago

Life can be this way. We can have it all. Then just as quickly as we found paradise. We lose it all. I like the flow of this story and the ending. Thank you for a excellent poem.

Posted 7 Years Ago

Powerful and disturbing to the point of self concious pools, well done, good read.

Posted 7 Years Ago

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6 Reviews
Added on November 7, 2011
Last Updated on November 7, 2011


Sherbs Dreaming Tree Of Poetry
Sherbs Dreaming Tree Of Poetry

Kirkcaldy, Sherbs house on Sherbs street :D, United Kingdom

I am Sherb of Sherbs Dreaming tree, Come inside and see, My marvellous range of tea. Haha Im Sherb I love poetry, it was my life for wuite a while and i have been suffering an 18 month block .. more..


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