Letter to my "fucked up but still amazing" future self

Suddenly.   I do not want to be THAT woman whose letter to her 19 year old self consists of "enjoy now. look at that tree! " or "don't feel bad about yourself, you are great" OF COURSE I AM F*****G GREAT!

Its sad that we only realize these things later in life. 

But NO. NOT ME.

There are good things.

And bad things. 

Both which I welcome with open arms.

And both I accept. 

And am grateful for. 

And there is me. 

A girl who has lived 19 years and a week of her life in this beautifully fucked up planet Earth. 

And I don't think Ill ever need to look back and say those sad things. 

For I accept and am glad for whatever mess or not good enough I am.

Being sure, I want you to know that I KNOW what its like to be you. 

I also know that most of the things you have learned by now is either a little too late. 

Or you just knew it.

But I'm sure I know it. 

Dear my future self,

Sameeka.