The Bonds Beginning

A Chapter by Shintany

Nothing perfect stories, because I do not have expectations that are balanced with reality

Here. the place I'm writing.

is the palace of my life.

My own life.

Different life.

Being a space dust grains which miss the true gravity.

I live here alone, in the land overseas. Sunscribe its name. The city of tourists, for studying and touring. I had lived with my mother here. But she came back home to Borneo---our hometown---when she finished her study. She leaved me alone in our home, but she didn't come back home alone. She was with August.

"I study here, Borneo University, your dad and mom pay my study. Thanks for all," August heard nicely in the phone. But I am not.

I remember that he is my friend in Sunscribe when I was 14 years old. We met in annually event and I knew he is my neighbor. From Rush he got my phone number, and he kept destroying me all day long everyday. First I was okay because I think he was a new friend in land overseas. But the longer he was terrible. He was seek my attention and always did that. Even when I was in relationship with Russ, that hatred begun.

"I wanna be your boyfriend, do you mind?" August said hopefully.

"Yes, I mind. I am sorry I can't," I ignored him.

"Why? I think we like each other," he said with confidence.

"Yes, as friends for me. And I don't know for you."

"Tell me why, or tell me do you mind if you know me closer and we can try this relationship, please."

He insisted. "I think I don't like this. Please don't ever say love or attention to me because you aren't my type."

I begun to be agitated, so worried. I do not, really do not like a coercion. And i labeled him from that day.

I told him that I was in relationship with Russ and he seemed disappointed. Wonderfully, I felt won.

That evening we met in Orange Park, a place built in a center of Orange Residence. Enough beautiful to enjoyed the trees and fresh air. There were long park chairs and green grass, following the small hut where people could relaxed with their mates, family, or own themselves. I talked to Chaz in the grass and they talked seriously in the chair of hut. Yes, They. They were August and Russ. They talked a unimportant thing, I thought. Exactly, August was unimportant guy in our relationship. He talked about me to Russ. And actually I was angry about that. August didn't has behalf to this relationship. But what did he doing that time. Severity I couldn't interpret my feelings that time. I just knew that everybody care and pay attention to me. I was really really fool.

"You know that she have a boyfriend in her hometown, so why so serious?" I heard Russ said to August.

"Yes I know, and you have a girlfriend in Jakarta. What kind of relationship," August said pompously wisely.

"This is our matter. 'Our' means me and Sienna. You have no right to intervene," Russ begun mad.

"So where will your relationship go? A wedding? Or just playing while waiting your true girlfriend come back?" August's remark made me sultry. I was really destroyed but I didn't know what should I do.

"I never think so far. So please don't intervene me. I think it's enough. Thank you."

Russ went, left me and the others. I know he was not completely carried away and I was just quite. Thought anything can be thought.

August called me and asked me for sitting with me, in the same place Russ sat. I traduced in my heart, but I was too fool to interpret this feelings, again. I was shocked when I saw August issued his phone to record their conversation. I felt very mad now. He was very sassy and for God's sake I wanted to punched his face but I can't. And I don't want. i don't want touch my hand to him, seriously.

"Now what?" I asked emotionally.

"Tell me honestly, are you serious with Russ?" August asked me pompously daintily.

That second I felt disgusted to him. He was very very sassy about my feeling, my relationship, everything about me.

"Yes maybe," I answered.

"No maybe, I wanna yes or no," he said.

"Yes."

"You know he has a girlfriend?"

"Yes."

"How if he leave you for her?"

"No problem," I replied easygoing.

"You said you are serious."

"Yes."

"What's you feeling?"

"I am falling in love with him."

"Listen, I don't want you brokenhearted. So it's not good for you continue relationship with Russ," he said as convincing me. But I will never believe him.

"You record?" I glanced to him phone.

"Yes, as a guarantee so that you always remember that you said and you will never deny it."

"I am sorry I think you're already too meddling."

"We are friends right? I don't want something bad happens to you."

"What something bad? This is relationship of me and Russ. I have boyfriend in Borneo and he have boyfriend in Jakarta. This is spare time. Fill in the blanks. So don't ask about the future of us and stop intervening me." I was getting sick.

“Okay, listen. I think it’s so useless. You and Russ, I mean…. You don’t know Russ. You have just know, introduce each other, and immediately binding in love. It’s so strange for me.”

“Yes, it’s so strange for you because you don’t get the chance like Russ.”

“Let’s make a deal.”

“What deal?”

“Just yes or no.”

“Let me see first.”

“You, Sienna Bannet, are you serious with Russ?”

“Yes.”

“If he leave you, will you be sad, of course?”

“Not really.”

“Just say or no.”

“No.”

“It’s not a deal.”

“Yes, if you want it.”

“So will you looking for somebody to fill your blanks anymore?”

“Maybe.”

“Just yes or no.”

“Yes.”

“Do you mind if it’s me?”

I was speechless. That was a fool conversation. I hadn’t enough mature yet to mean it as coercion or threat. The most stupid part was I said to know you closer first. Now I curse myself that time.

Somehow, my mother met August someday. My mother like a hard-working man, like August. My mother invited him to our home and asked help anything. The most I remember is he helped my mother to do her thesis and repaired the house. Not only that, the longer my mother became more frequent share everything to him, included about me. For short, he also liked tell everything to my mother and my mother liked him. Liked him so much.

One day August told my mother about his feeling for me. It happened a long time since I broke up with Russ. For several months, my mother hid it from me. But the longer she showed interest in August in front of me. My mother began to make a bond. Between me and August.

***

It’s okay. I am going to continue my story.

But I wanna tell you that it’s so hard for me write this. But I have to. Because I wanna you know that the bond is not game. It involves feeling, hope, pray, imagination, and fact. Like a formation of the world. It needs gravity, electromagnetic, weak nuclear, and strong nuclear. And when the Big Bang happened, universe formed. Resulting the movement of anything in it. Move balance but full of mystery. And my mystery of bond….

Still fly as space dust grains, no gravity but move somewhere. And when I meet gravity, I am anxious.