BONUS NUMBER #1 : THIS IS NOT HAPPENING

BONUS NUMBER #1 : THIS IS NOT HAPPENING

A Poem by Shivam Murari
"

This is my first attempt at loud writing.

"



This is not happening

 

No, no, nooo no!

 

My head is all beating

 

Na, na, naaa na!

 

My heart is not heating.

 

UH OH!

 

This is not happening,

My head is all beating,

My heart is not eating

THE LOVE YOU GAVE.

 

This is not happening

You words are still nagging

Your ear rings still dangling

IN MY HEAD WAVE.

 

Trying to forget, is like trying to forgive you

For mistakes that I committed

This is not happening

Innocent is not punishing

The criminal’s ideas are heated.

 

No, no no nooo

Na na na naaaa

 

‘I won’t tolerate your drama’

This is what I will say to me

I have never taken the blame

But this time I will take it on me

 

No

No

NO

 

What a confusion!

 

No

No

NOOOO!

 

This is my DISCRETION!

For myself!

 

Do you have any problem with it??

Then SHUT UP!



© 2013 Shivam Murari


Author's Note

Shivam Murari

My Review

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Featured Review

Me first?
-sigh-
I am not fond of the color block. It is a parlor trick and one you don't need, Shivam. Your words can stand on their own.
I do feel and understand the thoughts you are expressing. You get those across very clearly. And I like the piece wording as well (there are a few tenses that need correcting).

It is a good piece overall. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shivam Murari

7 Years Ago

Oh no no! I didn't mean it that way. I did of course recognize the tense errors when you pointed the.. read more
Rogue

7 Years Ago

I did, Shivam and I was teasing you as you poked your tongue out at me. :P
Shivam Murari

7 Years Ago

oh! I got it :P



Reviews

You know who you sound like in this poem! :O

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rajat Chandra

7 Years Ago

Hahahaa... By the way, I want you to name whom you thought I meant? :D
Shivam Murari

7 Years Ago

Kurt Cobain?
Rajat Chandra

7 Years Ago

Yeah right! ^_^
Hahahaa :D
full outburst of emotions, hope that was cathartic emotionally for you.

best wishes

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shivam Murari

7 Years Ago

It was! Thanks a lot Prritiy
Prritiy

7 Years Ago

you are welcome.
Such an explosion of feelings, you express your entrapment, your psychological claustrophobia in a most convincing way. With heightened drama, and the intensity of your emotions seem to fly off of the page, well done!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shivam Murari

7 Years Ago

Thanks a lot Sheema! :)
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BL
Great ending, the text suits the message and I felt like you were talking to me, which is the most effective way to communicate.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shivam Murari

7 Years Ago

Thank you so, so much, Bluely! I'm glad, you liked my piece so much! :)
So colorful...and yeah, you're right...loud. Maybe because this is a rant from too much nagging. Lol.

Anyway, you have expressed all your emotions in here. The last line is apt for the piece...
"Then, shut up!"

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shivam Murari

7 Years Ago

Thank you so, so much, Dhaye! You're really wonderful. :)
This piece reads fast and furious, like a rant you'd fund in the pages of a diary. That I like, its rich with emotion. However, I'm with Rogue, I'm not a fan of the color block. And while I am also not a fan of music being attached to poetry, the dubstep adds to the feel of this piece quiet nicely.
Overall, great job.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shivam Murari

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much Kristin. I was just experimenting, unintentionally, with this poem. That is why th.. read more
I like the flow of this poem and especially that last line - "Shut up." It jerked me awake. Shut up. Sometimes we have to say it straight don't we.
Also liked "My heart is not eating the love you gave."

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shivam Murari

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much. All these lines, including the one you pointed were completely automatic. That's .. read more
Asif ko Diarrohea ho gaya :P

Posted 7 Years Ago


Shivam Murari

7 Years Ago

no, I don;t :P
Divyanshu Kachhap

7 Years Ago

then jaake banao >,< dekh kya rahe ho ???!!!
Shivam Murari

7 Years Ago

LOL. gmail is so boring :P
this type of poems comes in your mind before exams :/

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shivam Murari

7 Years Ago

Exactly true! This is what happened to me last night :P

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713 Views
31 Reviews
Added on June 30, 2013
Last Updated on October 17, 2013
Tags: Loud, dubstep, happening, love, confusion, confession, blame

Author

Shivam Murari
Shivam Murari

India



About
Shivam Murari is a student, currently aspiring to get into a good college. He loves to write poems, loads of them. He usually gets very random ideas, which he thinks are pretty cool, and in the proces.. more..

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