Darkness Repeats

The crack of bones resonates in the nightsky,

rumbling past my tear shed naked eye

As the fervent worshippers of God cry to the Heavens to make it untrue

The source of creation, of celestial depression, ringing in my ears

Try to blow the flame of fears out from my soul but they still bleed through

All the broken dreams ripping at the seams and reality bubbling like a wicked scheme

You can call me prosaic, I lost the subtle shades that made me a mosaic

I hear the reverberations of the Sun- lets me know the journey's just begun

Like a cosmic guitar picking at my sanity, picking hastily at my head

Everything in the world flashing behind these grimly jaded eyes

Darkness repeats, the magnum opus of my shelf.

 

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Reviews

[Alexandria Reece]

'All the broken dreams ripping at the seams and reality bubbling like a wicked scheme
You can call me prosaic, I lost the subtle shades that made me a mosaic'

That first line especially is flawless, I adore the way you view the world and how your pen makes sense of it all. I could see this all in blurs, I think it was meant to be that way.

[Kristallo]

I think you are right. You understand my writing best, and I adore that in you. Thanks!!
xxxxoxxx

[Alexandria Reece]

I am glad to have an understanding of it, it's lovely to get a grasp of something so profound.

[Sethnicity]

I think this is the first time I've seen you write a couplet. and this was very effective. the rhymes are clever. The imagery is thick as always! :D

[Kristallo]

It could be better, I have such a hard time keeping in step with a structured 'rhyme scheme.' It seems I lose my flow in struggling to make the last words to each couplet match, but otherwise, yeah- not a total failure. Thank you. :)

[Sethnicity]

No a failure at all.. The story is told and the structure can hold it's own weight.

[...]

Bows to the power of your pen!

[Allie]

I love the rhythm that this read in and the powerful choices of words. It says so many things without having to lay it all out there. I can relate to this.

[An owl on the moon]

There is a powerful rhythm pounding through your pensive contemplations... the masquerade of humanity stripped back revealing the honest flesh on bone... dreams undone... You've breathed a vast wantonness into this world, casting off rose colored glasses... So fiercely honest and darkly entrancing.

[Sethnicity]

This is prolly the most aggressive I've seen you write. the meter is hard stressed and has moments of flux the way Good writing should.
and once again... Word Choice! That is what separates the Scrub Scruples from the Script Sculptures!

[icaros13]

"All the broken dreams ripping at the seams and reality bubbling like a wicked scheme"
I can't think of anything to say without being redundant. You are a poet. There ya go. My highest praise.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Beauty Krys- "Like a cosmic guitar picking at my sanity, picking hastily at my head

Everything in the world flashing behind mine jaded eyes

Darkness repeats"