Fishbowl

riding this bike
sailing through the fog
following the river of asphalt,
poking out from the blurred
greens, yellows and reds
upon nature's pillars

the air is thick
the colors,
vivid against the grey
the only sounds
mechanical repetition
echoing away

homeostasis controlled
fear is gone
locked in place
where you belong



 

Author's Note

Of everything I have written, I am most proud of this one. I don't know why. I rode my bike through the fog, on a road thick with trees. The way the colors popped out through the grey fog was astonishing. Just trying the capture the moment. Felt like I was in a fishbowl and at some point, would hit the glass.

Reviews

[light and ashes]

I really like this. The title is completely misleading, but after reading your author's note I understand.... and actually I think it's kind of cool.. it's not what you expect. I am not sure that's a negative thing, in this case.
You did well. I am a fan of this also. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

nothing like Fall...and the colors, and the quiet ride on a bicycle...no motor, no mechanics, no noise pollution, just that blanket of fog and being lost in the painting of fall...

nicely done, Shy Joe...

last line...should be "nature's"

but wow...the road in the picture reminds me of Vermont in the autumn time.

[Shy Joe]

Thank you. Grammar and I have never got along. Vermont sounds like a beautiful state.

[Writeforlovely]

I loved it! I felt like I was there. I wanna read it over and over!
Nice job :)

[Kelly Scheppers]

I've never rode a bike through the fog before...it sounds a bit scary, but with a visual like this, I think I'd go for it.

Your first verse is my favorite - the river of asphalt and natures pillars! Great imagery, Joe!

[Karmee]

such a beautiful picture, Love the imagery in this write as well

[GypsyMoonCat]

I loved the imagery in this poem. Your use of metaphor was impressive and effective as well. I think this is a definite 10/10! Great work :)