A break from the break

Once upon a second, there was this girl with a vision. she watched herself grow apart from her beliefs and thoughts day by day, and then came a reality check... so quick, so harsh, but so surreal. The ground underneath her started spinning since then, and as far as I recall.. she is not that fit, can't keep running for long distances. so she simply took a small break, then a longer one, then a permanent one!

She thought: the deeper the breath, the slower the feet. I agree with the theory, even when in a relaxed position.. I remember one time I was sitting on the old building staircase, just alone in my little bubble, so small and ignorant, and it hit me like a painful pinch; I received the saddest news for the very first time in my life. and since then I keep running, turning, rushing, while standing still like a statue! that is just one example, and then poured in the rest as life went by in flashes.

And yes, stairs bother me! taking the stairs is not a healthy habit.. to me; it is one more way to feel that exact pressure of that exact moment on those exact old stairs.

When running, you get so many images, very vivid ones. one being so clear with lots of confusion was me floating in the Nile river, free of clothing, free of material and materialistic things, free of burdens, just weightless and thoughtless. That, ladies and gentlemen is taking a break from a break...

A break from life doesn't always mean to stop functioning, it just means that your brain decides to rest, and then it gets tired from feeling restless, so it hibernates forever!

I wish.. no, I hope one day I get to decide, when to run, or even just slowly walk, or just stop.

Until then, I want a good night's sleep, without any imagery or buffer.

Until then, I will look up to and salute eight year old me for being.. not brave, but steady.