The triumph of ecstasy, over me

The triumph of ecstasy, over me

A Poem by Siddhant_s
"

... This poem contains is regarding my inner feelings, for me, it describes the way I have been feeling for the past 1 year ...

"

The Sun shines bright,
The flowers sprout wherever I go,
Birds chirp melodiously to greet me,
The squirrels and rabbits with others, put on an entertaining show.

The air remains cool with a tinge of warmth,
The smell is of soothing petrichor,
The bushes dance joyously,
Just so that, I am cozy to the core.

As time passes,The Sun shines more than ever,
The flowers repeatedly clasp and open, with spots of tiredness on some…
The birds sign; in voice, tinges of annoyance,
while the creatures of land, indicate lack of buoyance.

The air is relatively warmer now-
The feel is of sitting near a heater in chilly winter.
I continue to saunter in the meadow, anyhow.

However, this bliss inside of me,
Which did not feel the same anymore,
Was in reality, impure ecstasy;
Which we had been warned about-in various ancient lore…

I continue journeying, determined to stay in the same mood as before;
Ignoring the surrounding environment, at least until I realize-
The mess which I bore.

The Sun looked exhausted now-
Gradually losing its bright.
The volume of the birds' chirp had gone down,
& The creature lied everywhere as though dead, with a face of frown.
The bushes looked as if in deep slumber,
The smell of air as grotesque as unbearable memories themselves;
The air itself, extremely dry and bitter cold.
So much so, that I could feel my skin and lips crack.

I knew I needed to do something, but how?
The superfluous bliss had appeared as if I never would need to work again-
And made me forget how to work or think-
Like the way I did before the years of bliss.

Then it struck me!
O’ it struck me hard…
It wasn’t sweet bliss this whole time-
But the wicked, the master of manipulation, ecstasy, herself.
At that very moment, did I realize…. that,
Ecstasy was in reality the bitter taste one would get-
after overdosing oneself with all of the worlds sweet.

Anyway, she still crept in me-
And thrived in every vessel of my body,
Always deploying euphoria as her weapon.
Thence, making me wage war against me.

How possibly I could get out of this?
It seemed as if she had galloped my poor bliss,
My surroundings were all pitch black-
I couldn’t feel, see or hear anything!
I tried to run everywhere, but if I was actually running-
I don’t know…

I got hold of some bushes, though-
But it seemed that they were still in slumber,
They knew about my situation but still did not help!
‘Why though? They always cared for me-‘ I pondered

Rage swept through me,
But I succeeded in remaining calm,
Yet I felt deceived by the bushes,
Even though I knew it wasn’t their fault…
I still wanted to pour my heart to them, even if they did not act;
It was true sadness, which befell upon me…

Hearing this, ecstasy called back anger,
And now called upon guilt and shame to torment me;
She was playing clever.

As the brothers, guilt and shame crept in me,
They prevented me from ever opening my mouth,
They tortured every part of me,
It was a war against my inner self,
‘But was it my actual self?’
Is a question that sometimes bamboozled me.

Nevertheless, I did what I could,
Yet defeated, I stood.
It seemed as if ecstasy was always steps ahead of me.

The constant battles drained all my energy; eventually,
‘I can battle no more’ I now strongly believed,
and with this, ecstasy and her fellow compatriots, took over me.
They reigned over me and my body,
Governing every aspect of myself,
And I could do nothing, but lament each and every thing.

I now feel locked away from the outer world,
Although I have the ability to speak…
and take up the guilt of-wasting my loved ones, affection and wisdom,
Although, I have the ability to perceive…

BY ME

© 2022 Siddhant_s


Author's Note

Siddhant_s
Please tell me what you interpret of this poem, What do you think I mean to tell others through its medium. I ask this because many people take my poems in a totally different way at times. Also ignore minor grammatical errors. Also, please recommend the genre this poem should be in, as I had a hard time deciding the same.

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Added on January 6, 2022
Last Updated on January 6, 2022
Tags: #Dark #Defeat #Failure