33: Goodbye

I stared down into the darkness. This was it. This was the end. My prayers were finished. Everything was slowly ending. Everything was finally going to be over. 

I smiled to myself in the darkness. I was ready. 

 

 

 

Cold is oblivion.

Without light.

Like an obsidian.

Without warmth.

Without a single thing,

and why not?

Who does not need to cling,

To pure death?

Eternal in blackness,

And coldness,

And in a nothingness,

Is that death.

But what is left behind,

That matters.

People who cannot find,

can’t grasp you.

Never ever again.

You are lost.

Alone until the end.

Time flies by.

Because the world failed you,

You failed it.

You don’t know what to do.

And you can’t

 

 

 

Because you can’t.

Can’t do a thing.

A thing at all.

 

You’re just an ant.

In a human’s

Cruel and cruel world

 

 

Goodbye World.

Goodbye Trees.

Goodbye Sun.

Goodbye Me.

 

I’ll be Gone.

I’ll be Free.

And you won’t,

Won’t miss Me.

 

But who would?

I am Nothing.

I am Useless.

Not Something.

 

Just cold and,

Once again,

Ready to Leave,

It’s the End.

 

Of this all,

Not the same,

‘Twas ruined,

And won’t change.

 

Being said,

Say Goodbye.

Goodbye to me,

Don’t ask “why?”

 

“Why the end?

Why are you,

doing this?”

 

“Not a clue.”

 

So Goodbye, 

It’s the end,

It’s Farewell,

We can’t mend.

 

Any of this.

Say Goodbye. 

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

 

Forever, say Goodbye.

Goodbye You.

Goodbye Life.

Goodbye Friends.

Future Wife.

 

It’s all over.

Goodbye Me.

Forever, say Goodbye to Me.

 

 

 

 

And maybe this didn’t work. Then what? What happened then? I shuddered at the idea of waking up in a hospital with my family around me. My father. My mother. Ida. Cliff. 

No. They wouldn’t come for me, not Cliff or Ida. Just my mother and my father. I had no one else besides them. 

I barely even had them.

I felt warm at the idea of waking up next to my brother. Next to Cheyenne. In eternal blackness. Numbing oblivion. 

Goodbye cruel, cruel world.