Forethought then Hollowness

Say        A timid whisper in
this neutral star light       Where
the grass is damp   and       it
sinks into the         bottom of our
jeans Where

we lie under the cloudless   night   but
not to   each other Where we
say  nothing     We only echo previous
conversations of other   friends of
other lovers

Who spoke the same words   to
one anther   Some spoke with meaning   compassion
and forethought    Others spoke with    a
hollowness behind    their
words

But  how did we speak   it
was not empty   nor filled  We simply
said them    Whether conscientiously  or
subconsciously

Perhaps we  were not
ourselves  Then who were   we?
Were we the  faceless     nameless people
that     they sing about in    love songs?

Reviews

[KUFU]

Yes, this is nice. I love the sentiments. The experimental form made me stutter as I read, but there was something mysteriously mechanical about the stutters. As I read I felt as if I were being spoken to by a robot; and coming from a robot, I shouldn't feel any emotional connection to an inanimate object, but It seems/read to me as though the robot was an infant!! (God I hope I haven't gotten anyone pregnant) Maybe its my present emotional state that permits me to allow your experimental(robotic) form to convey these empathic feelings. I took the tone of your piece to be as a lament, but in robotic form. I can't quite put my finger on why I like this, but I like it...in a weird kind of way. Weird is always good in my book. Opens up unexplored avenues of understanding. Nice.

[Rachel Cooper]

Yeah. About the spacing.

It is kind of weird, I know.

It's hard to describe what I was really going for.

[Emily B]

I read the uniquely placed spacing as pauses in a halting conversation. Not wanting to be so honest. Admitting to the lack of . . . We rarely want to admit that. I really enjoyed this. Made me think today.

[KUFU]

Forethought then Hollowness...this tittle is very well suited for this piece. Makes me think of the somewhat infantile Tin-Man from The Wizard Of Oz. All the Tin-Man(robot by 21st century standards) wanted in his hollow chest was a living, beating heart. In Essence he wanted to human. Although I do not believe that love is restricted to only the Human species. Maybe our PC's are capable of a profound love that we cannot understand. Think about it. Our computers are very social entities. According to sociologist, socializing is a prime indicator of a human's capacity to love and understand love, but I'm getting off the point...somewhat. Again, a very interesting piece.