Vacancy

Everyday that follows

Gives birth to less hope.

Every morning I try on

A new soul

Because the one I dressed myself

Yesterday,

Or the moon before

Has grown old

And oh so tired

With my groans

As well as moans…

There are no need for clothes

Because my heart is

Bare,

Naked,

OPEN!

But every night the sign reads as closed

And there’s really no

Reason why my heart is this vacant...

Reviews

[Eli Castor]

This poem is so beautiful and revealing. I can relate so much to the last two lines, "And there's really no reason why my heart is this vacant..." I ask myself why it is I feel the way I feel all the time, but never get an answer. Maybe we'll find it through writing.

Thanks for sharing!

[sinNsincerity]

Very much so Eli, I truly understand how you feel. Quite a journey is has been so far...

[Schatzi]

Hello Sin in Sincerity,

Another good poem! I like how raw, how bare the emotions are. There is one line though that has a bit of awkward wording: Because the one I dressed myself. Did you mean Because the one that dressed myself? Or perhaps it's missing a comma? Because the one, I dressed myself. Anyway, other than that one line, it is beautifully written.

Thank you for sharing!

Kind regards,

Schatzi

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you for thinking so Schatzi, but I believe there is no need for punctuation there.
If you read it like this, "Every morning I try on a new soul because the one I dressed myself yesterday, or the moon before has grown old and oh so tired with my groans as well as moans…"
It is a compound sentence because it has a dependent clause ( an incomplete thought) joined together with a independent clause.

[Anindita Janhabee]

Ha, good piece ....
Although the rhyme scheme is not uniform, this appears to be one of those poems which are better without rhymes..
Every poem is not meant to rhyme, it's all about the feelings and emotions put into it. And, yes , this is a beautiful piece showing how a heart is vacant even when there's a lot surrounding you, but it's really understandable... the feeling I mean... And for sure, it's vacant for the only one and will soon be filled when that special someone enters into life...
Good to read....
Anindita : )

[sinNsincerity]

I do that intentionally. Every poem I write is a different kind of special and has a life of it's own. I just transmute it...

[TaraNicole]

From someone who suffers from major depressive disorder and severe ptsd, I can honestly say that this is nithing less than a perfect and apt description. Well at least in my point of view. Its excellent and i thank you for it!

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Tara, and thank you for sharing that part of you life with me.
I highly appreciate that and just to know that it brought out some feelings that allowed you to relate makes what I do and struggle for with my writing makes it all worth it.

[TaraNicole]

As a fellow writer i understand that for sure. As a fellow human, well, if we cant find some who relate with and to us, that would be unforgiving..

[NeuroVersifier]

As chef Dan Barber said, "Isn't our life one attempt to fill one void after another?"
Depression is when you give up on trying to fill the void such as when you find that your attempts are no longer effective. I don't know if this aligns with what you are trying to communicate through your poem, but it is what came to my mind as I read it.
Good writing enlivens the mind, in which case, mission accomplished.

[sinNsincerity]

Especially when it comes to food if you love food like myself. I actually attended Le Cordon Bleu and was going to become a chef. Great times.
Well, I believe depression is a different demon for different people and how they deal with it shouldn't be treated as a similar issue. I myself find it much easier to face my demons head on and refuse to run away from them. Although, I am able to mentally defeat on form of depression, another is presented or that old one comes back stronger.
But you are right, in a good hand of my poetry, I do try to write in such a way that people may recall upon their own experiences rather than bombard them with so much of me. Not to say that I that I don't have those pieces where I remove the veil.

[NeuroVersifier]

Well said.

[Crystal Overmeyer-Birmi..]

i love the imagery in this one! The line "every morning i try on a new soul" is such a great line! i really loved your turn of phase! As always i am a fan

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you so much Crystal, I have missed you dearly.

[ranscan]

I will agree with others whom have reviewed this piece, there is some wonderful imagery and ideas in this poem. As I have read a few of your works (all that you requested to be read and more} I can say that you do possess an ability to create some wonderful concepts and word play experiences.
I would have to also repeat my thoughts from another review of your work, the haphazard application of the rhymes and the awkward use of punctuation is hurting the overall quality of your work and its presentation.
In your reply to my last review, you said you do this to "f**k" with the audience, to make the reader say "what the f**k just happened?". I am going to suggest your hypothesis as to how this affects the subjects of your writing and behavioral manipulation experiments will be proven incorrect, and the assumptions it is based on false.
I strongly believe you are doing your work and yourself a great disservice.

[sinNsincerity]

What makes it so haphazard for you?
In a sense, I leave ambiguity to run its course, so that the reader may find ways to connect with the words and not with the writer.

[ranscan]

The rhyme in this work occurs only on lines 10 and 11, there is no rhyming scheme to be seen, as such it is in my opinion haphazard.
I would disagree with your statement that "In a sense, I leave ambiguity to run its course, so that the reader may find ways to connect with the words and not with the writer." as far as this piece. The work is written in the first person inviting connection with the writer, and though the conversation is not direct, it is still not ambiguous in its directed language.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

WoW!!!
so beautiful.......
powerful.......sad.......
"Every morning I try on

A new soul"

loved it!!!
:)

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Pushkar, I hold those line close to me very dearly. I'm glad they stood out to you!

[EssenceofDaringx]

Yet another strong piece of artwork from you Sin...Stay beautiful

[sinNsincerity]

Stay beautiful as well.
Thank you so much, it is my pleasure!

[Quinn W]

I had to read this twice because it was just so good! I love the metaphors! Your wording was on point!!! So jealous of your ability to write such beautiful poems.

[sinNsincerity]

That's such a honor Quinn!
Don't be jelly, just don't stop writing and speak your heart!
read moreThat's such a honor Quinn!
Don't be jelly, just don't stop writing and speak your heart!
God bless.