Never Gonna Tell a Soul

I had to let you know

With a poem

'Cause I'm not too good

When speaking in person

Or even over the telephone

So here's my love note

My Corazón

More than my amigo

But no O

'Cause it should of ended with ah

Feminine like the shape

Of a glass bottle of Coca-Cola

Ahhh

Giving me a rush like

The coke that used

To do backstrokes

Up into my nostrils

Ahhh

I'm putty to your hands

Do with me as you wish

My heart is play-dough

Perfect for molding

&

Lots to offer like

The mind of Plato

More like Aristotle

Whatever you say goes...

Reviews

[Marianne Rose]

I like the use of the classics mixed in with modern phrase that communicate our culture- the coke glass and the coke up your nostrils- a great phrase there with the backstroke. You offer your physical self to be molded, shaped and surrendered as "putty in hands", but there is a mind there too that offers thoughts as classic and deep as Plato and Aristotle. The complete surrender of your will is scary to me, but I get it. Great poem.

[sinNsincerity]

The two elements you have pointed out is a blend I strive for, but is still not where I want it to be. It's getting there. It's an interesting piece, because yes, I do display my knowledge of the classics, in which I will be forever digging through, and modern times. I'm glad you like the backstroke phrase hehe not one of my proudest years but what the hell...
I pretty much have been an offering all my life had fought it all my life up until recently I have accepted I am not here for me, but for those who seek me. I guess the thing your eyes see and the mental tattoos that linger have forced me to surrender, but not submit completely I must say...
Thank you once again Marianne!

[MissLaine]

Very sweet! I am loving' the metaphors and beautiful imagery in this. It's like seeing it all play in my mind as i read this! Amazing write. :)

[sinNsincerity]

That's what I love to hear because that's all I want to do with my words.
Just to make people escape for just a moment... and have the word birth life in the mind that was never recognized.

[MissLaine]

:) haha amazing! Well, nicely done.

[Mari K]

Nice. This is so smooth when read. You have a talent that can't be argued. Lucky girl to receive such beautiful words.

[sinNsincerity]

A talent given to me by God, which I am forever grateful for.
Thank you so much for reading Mari.

[anne p. murray- LadeeAn..]

Sweet and more sweet words... to flow into the recesses of the mind

"Giving me a rush like
The coke that used
To do backstrokes
Up into my nostrils"

Awesome use of metaphors and imagery

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read as well as letting me know what you enjoyed about it Anne.

[B. Boileau]

A magnificent piece with rhythm that flows right off the page. Love the concept, we all seem to be braver with words on our pages than speaking in person or even over the phone.
bill

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Bill.
haha yea, it's not that I'm not brave in person and such. Things just never sound right when I speak in a sense. My mind always knows what to say, but then the words are lost...
I appreciate you taking the time to read and leaving me your thoughts!

[Crystal Overmeyer-Birmi..]

Sin, Again man you crank these pieces of art out like its nothing. They seem so natural to the reader. I cant explain enough how I admire your honest flow and the waves your pieces make. Great Job

[sinNsincerity]

That comes with wanting to give myself to everyone. This is my gift to the world and if people don't like it... then screw them haha Heart, spirit, and mind.
Thank you Crystal, I highly appreciate that!

[Isabel]

I'm loving the rhythm of your poem. I particularly like how your piece alludes to this Pulp Fiction kind of thing. Really digging the vibes and overall a great work!

[sinNsincerity]

Hehe Thank you so much Maria!

[Zugzwang]

A sweet and sensitive love poem. I liked the alliterative style and use of slant rhymes, it gave it a loose and relaxed kind of flow for me. And everyone loves coke. Not coke, I mean coke.

[sinNsincerity]

I'm really glad that you enjoyed it and I appreciate you leaving me your thoughts.
You're too funny!

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Beautiful love poem, Sin in Sincerity. Well done. :) Rudi

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Rudi!

[Harley Sapphire]

Beautiful, yet again! The analogies are beautiful. This is my favorite of yours so far.

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you so much Harley!