If I Tell you

Toss me all of your secrets.
Can't you tell?
I have yet to spew out
One truth to you.
Cut open my brain,
You'll never find the memories,
But I'll always remember.
Vague and distant;
Yet,
I can recall it all in an instant.
The bottomless pit!
You couldn't find God,
So you prayed your
Acceptance into my heart.
Shhh...
I won't say what you did with your lips.
How about your hips?
How about???

Reviews

[CAPOLAVORO]

I got interested in the title and have some thoughts in my mind already. Somehow, the exceeded my expectation, this one I must say is short but not simple. It does not require too much thinking yet emotions are intact in the words.

"Shhh...
I won't say what you did with your lips.
How about your hips?
How about???"
This is the part where everything seemed to fall exactly the way you want it to be. The rhyme did not made it. The secret behind did. All in all, weel done. :)

Good poem for romance.

-Capolavoro

[sinNsincerity]

Shhhhhhh...

[KWP]

oh yes, i like this because when you get to that moment of love, lovemaking in fact, when all inhibitions are cast aside and you allow yourself to truly let go and ride your bodies to the climatic zenith, then, secrets don't matter because you have opened yourself in such a way love can override all ... well thats what I got anyway ...

nice one X

[sinNsincerity]

What you got will always do and I always enjoy you analysis. And secrets do suck, unless they are kinky ones to be presented as grandeur hehe

[Polly]

The starting of this poem was intense, mixed with anger, but the engaging end didn't fail to make me smile again. xD Great work!

[sinNsincerity]

I'm glad Polly!

[Asante]

Vibed with the possessiveness of this! It's one where it goes against the usual "being dominated" theme, to where it seemed you were in control with this one.
Unique, and entertaining. Great job, Brodie.

[sinNsincerity]

hehe yea dude, just one of those moments when you're with the one chick and you know you should do what's about to go down because after that it's all bad, but you both say f**k it!

[Pushkar Prabhat]

aha.......
those hips might not lie but.......shhhhh.........
playful flow and rhyme.......
sadness veiled by humour......

great write......
i really liked it!!!!
:)

[sinNsincerity]

Shakira? She's a Goddess!