This is Just How I Feel

How I felt today, when I wrote this. Judge me for it.

I’ve survived my scaring so far and I’m writing my song and the feeling is great but the pain still strong remains engraved, stained insane on the grains that sustain in the game that left me slain, please explain how you can judge me with your jeering by my name

But when it comes time to grieve some suffering will never leave, they’re just hidden beneath, buried deep

Hard to believe how people see me

If you don’t like me then leave me

I couldn’t care how you see me

You wouldn’t fair well to be me

To be insulted while you’re bleeding

And dealing with the feelings of the hatred you feed me

The matron of a sick creed there is no release from, wondering where the hell my life’s gone

People who go on and on about how I’m wrong and refuse to see reason and run me through cruel sun heated with anger, kill the sheep in the manger

Boiling me for meat because you miscreants need someone to be shunned

A pool of tears full of fear and the fish that feed on the bait, I'm swimming in your hate and the doors of fate that have become my prison

I’ve been risen by dripping soul ripping pain this tree grew from binding writhing in chains

Raining treason freezing it’s the season of a cruel lesion because you don't see a person in me and your needing to pop pimples, so try to tell what the hell is up when I’m below you

You think you know me, simple, don't you? Well I know you

Drowning me in my sorrow in the pour a score of water furrowing off my poisoned skin just a disgusting disguise of flooding memories I try to hide asking where’s the shore what’s this suffering for and I tie-dye the blood taste and gore that’s pasted on my face another colour that isn’t pain because I don’t want to be erased under your harsh hands reign

If there’s a problem I’ll face it, if you throw dirt at me when I hurt I’ll take it

Another runner that can’t walk away you took my legs out from under me and continually break them

Today I can only be a monster in your eyes, and if you despise me so why don’t you go and have the truth written down below under the dirty snow so you can show how right you are, and when my life is hard you can discard my carcass and wage a war to start

Call me a male w***e you bore me with your sexism perplexed in that my life has never had sex in it

If you want a pretty prize for your lies, win the person you hate mate even if you’ve never laid eyes on him, and decorate the horizon in his blood as if it's snow and mud

But look past the cover of the book and read the words you haven’t heard within it

This is just how I feel, tell me it isn’t real, say I’m appealing for your mercy

But when someone you stepped on doesn’t deserve the courtesy of love, like how your hurting me, and refuses to give up, then don’t give it

Author's Note

I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[.]

Actually, it's not only you who feel like this. Sometimes I too had such thoughts but the great thing is that, it's only you who could express it in such a good way.

[NEHA]

so this was quiet impressive!
your poems are always so deep to infinity....
#claps

[wordman]

vert intense write jack,but sounds real to me

[Oliver Lee]

This lyrically flows so well, I'm glad you wrote it, it's awesome dude