Madness in Hospital

My first Ghazal, enjoy!

I am as awakened as satan, a homo-sapien, elated as the matron of God’s crying babies

Forgiven weightless debated, an immoral hatred, created unstated unequal of hard defying vagrants

 

I live for others, I love for others, I breathe in colours, devour hunters, spitting bloody vomit, clutching my sonnets dishonestly, they are my property

I kill for money, shoving my brothers beneath the still waters, devoid and heartless, sitting s****y like a loving artist, butchering my fondest undaunted memories, for they will never remember me during the dismembering

I was dead at 17, a hurt so heavy I felt the suffering since seven, there is no heaven this world is severed from our sorrow, a lifetime borrowed, a story stolen, with no history or flora

Sent to bed eventually, a soul so menacing, like metal instruments of dentistry digging into me destroying me mentally, relive no mentioning, parents disbelieving as his chest was heaving but couldn’t swallow, ice cold hollow, a door unopened, disco dismissal of euphoria

I couldn’t see the life in front of me, so I continued to bleed suffering internally

Eternity infernally, they count on me to feed nothingness reversing feeds

In love unconditionally asking, permission to leave, left in critical need the feelings inside me will not leave, I miss you, but when I look at our pasts I want to hurl, the body is sacred, for boys and for girls

Unlawful pervasion fully masking, commission the key, breaking official creed see the kneeling goodbye adopting, to live through, pushing buckets of mass, emotion my girl, the bloody and naked, grey noise, cold world shaken

Robert Jack Calzonetti, cardiac arrest melancholy, you have truly fallen, your words forgotten, your brain rotten, your heart got caught in, the blades of a helicopter, your soul shot in, your world brought into the ground buried uncaringly by your adversaries, your choked canary, singing “why didn’t you save me? Polite drifting depravity, beauty is deceiving, and no one isn’t even regarded for reconvening tragically, deathly conspiring, suicide is to be with me

Robbin’s lack calculations, we were never bless by creation, ruined in your falsehood, forward for nothing, retain blossoms, in dark autumn, air raid of monotonous table topper, ever stopping the crowd, barely staring fairies good lord’s apothecaries, your spoken spittle, living with the brittle end to the beginning of one so little, bring might into safety, burning bright with naivety, when you can see clearly that the sun is still searing, you’ll start disappearing, like magic, from the clearing, die for your thievery

 

You will never be anything merry, live in solitary, secretary, and carry the awesome cost of all you’ve lost in your holocaust visionary, your lyrics nothing but arbitrary, your fear nothing but commentary for a video of idiocrasy democracy, your presence ever mocking me, slunk scuttling on a new crank, a floundering eyedrop in, caverns witness capital, a colossal sudden loss of all

RJ away with your misery, livid chivalry, directionally, eventually causing rocket fuel Bifrost, anchored, robust planetary you will never be free, from humility butter fondling a residual cystoscopy, autopsy of your lost body, sunk to the bottom of the fishtank, a drowning hard copy, madness in this hospital, a fossil of the impossible

My mind can see

I’ll never be free

I’ve lost my call

In this hospital

Author's Note

I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[Ghost writer]

I like how I didn't really know what was going on until the end where it reviled the mans madness, which was very in the poe stile as word man said

[wordman]

you are a student of edgar allen poe,no doubt

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

That man was an amazing poet. The comparison warms my heart! Thanks for reading wordman, I appreciate hearing what you have to say.

[wordman]

you`re welcome jack

[.]

You know what's Ghazal! That's awesome! But Ghazals are lyric poem with a fixed number of verses and a repeated rhyme, typically on the theme of love, and normally set to music.

Example-
Ghazal by Shams al-Din Hafiz Shirazi
"O beautiful wine-bearer, bring forth the cup and put it to my lips
Path of love seemed easy at first, what came was many hardships.
With its perfume, the morning breeze unlocks those beautiful locks
The curl of those dark ringlets, many hearts to shreds strips
...."

But but but... That doesn't means it's not good. The poem is really awesome and I loved the way you wrote it. I loved the poem as always. And glad that you are interested in Ghazal!

Keep experimenting.So many Good Lucks and Best Wishes ! 😊.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I will continue to try to learn Ghazal, it is a beautiful art form. I have a lot to learn, but many years to do so. Could you send me some of your favourite Ghazal poems? I really want to get a better understanding, and write one correctly. Thank you so much for your support, with such beautiful forms of poetry out there, there is so much to learn!