Kamikaze

Just a little story I wrote whilst listening to the song Kamikaze by Owl City. Don't expect a masterpiece but I hope you enjoy it :D

I've been alone for far too long, and now that I'm on my way home my heart is glowing fit to burst. When I wake each day, my first thought is of you, as is my last in the dreamy haze between awake and asleep. Everything, it seems, holds some glorious memory for me to replay and enjoy, each of which make me miss you more, and love you more. Even over this impossible distance, you've still got a hold on my heart. I love everything about you.  There's not one thing I dislike. Even the infuriating smile you show when you know you've won warms my spirit. Because its a part of you, and you are my all. I gaze out my window at the cities far below. I remember how you like imagining the people living there, giving them each a name, a look and a story.  You brought them to life with your words and you made me believe. I'm torn from my reverie by the pilot's voice on the intercom. The sound quality is so bad that I have to strain to make out any words in the crackling fuzz of white noise. A couple of words catch my attention. Horrible, dreadful words. "Engine failure...say your prayers...nothing can be done..." My heart stops and my jaw drops. My bones start to shake and my palms grow sweaty. I blink and swallow and had I been standing my legs would've given way. I glance again out the window and find my view blotted by thick dark clouds. It hits me that I'm going to die. The shock sends tears stinging my eyes and gasps racking my diaphragm. Someone screams. Someone else swears loudly. I just sit and freeze. I'm going to die without seeing you again. The thought of that makes me wretch, so horrific and impossible that my body tries to get rid of it. I type out a quick text, telling you I love you and I won't be coming back. In the seconds it takes me, I know I've no where near made it clear just how much I do love you, and how much this hurts, and I make multiple spelling mistakes on account of not being able to see through the tears. But I know you'll understand. As the plain plummets to the ground, and sorrow consumes me, my final thought is, as always, of you.

Author's Note

All honest opinions welcome! Please keep in mind that this is my first attempt though (:

Reviews

[Croatoan]

Well didn't that take an unexpected twist LOL.
I like stories like that, for a second, you think you know what this is all about and then suddenly everything changes.
I actually wish there was more to this. I wanna know happens next.
This is a really great write and i can't wait to read more of your pieces.
Well done. :)

[SipOnMoonlight]

Thankyou so much, glad you enjoyed it (: should I write from the partner's point of view, or carry on with this character? Thankyou for reviewing! xxx

[Croatoan]

No problem :) and surprise me. Do what you think is best for the story. What do you think would make for an interesting continuation? The partner's point of view or the person's point of view after what just happened?

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

Wow! A happy, spiral-bladed knife to the gut!! That was a most excellent micro-story. Great pacing, tempo, crescendo and ... and ... ???? :D

I find little wrong, nothing to speak of in fact and much that is good and right. After snooping at the other review and your question, my two cents is to carry on with this character and consider a parallel thread from the perspective of the "you." A storyline usually always benefits from some counterpoint in the score.

-Ufi

[SipOnMoonlight]

Sounds good :) I'll get started right away :D thankyou for reviewing! Xxx