"Speak"

Kinda of a follow up on my other work "Halted Evolution" in a spiritual sense at least.

(So selfish with these puzzling thoughts “How can this be? How can she not see me?”)

(Well for one you can not just lie to yourself in wait for a sudden burst in change to alter and shift her view to lower and look at you.)

How could that be anyways? when I have yet to even show my face because each time I gaze into the mirror I only see an utter disgrace.

This is all a phase with time my heart will surely change and all these scars on my arms will heal and I’ll no longer feel so uneasy when she stands so near to me.

My breath is gone my red organ beats fast till I finally take a new breath before the previous became my last.

Sweating so much while under the pressure that she so nonchalantly gives off each and every time her eyes wander in my direction.

Did she just wave at me?

(No you idiot don’t wave back! you were just in front of one of her many friends! quick you fool scratch your head make it look like you were not trying to gain her attention!)

(God you’re so damn embarrassing how could you honestly think she even cared to say hello to you ya unsocial chump?)

(Someone ought to call you “Forest” because all you seem to ever do is turn tail and run.)

(You have written many of a confession for “I wonder who?” when all the purpose and raw emotion is lost when you can’t act out of desperation to even attempt to say the that three word sentence.)

(Should someone ever put a gun to your head and say confess or you're dead you'll probably say “Tell my loved one’s I love them” instead and Boom! Bang!)

(Guess what? you blew it! or more like your brain did.)

(Is this what you really want to eat at you everyday till you find someone else to hold another unlit flame with?)

(You're burning up inside you feel like you could practically die but no amount of siliques with me ever seem to change you visually.)

I just constantly bottle it up inside and let all these chances the very opportunities in my own life pass me by because I’m just stuck and figuratively frozen in place.

I should be the protagonist in my own story yet why do I always have such low self esteem to instead think I’m just secondary to the overall main theme?

My looks should be good enough is my personality just rough?

Do I just not see the obvious? how can I make her see me as rather dashing without ever asking?

(You can not be serious it’s a wonder to know if she even realizes you in fact actually exist.)

(The sheer fact that you must ask any of that just goes to show you are missing an essential part in tact you need some common sense intact.)

(How do expect me to truly believe you don’t deserve my scrutiny with all this crap you keep spewing.)

(Sure you may know her but have you ever said anything to this Missy or do you not even have the ability to try to swing and miss?)

(Fine if talking is somehow too much which apparently it is why not let your actions speak for you in your mute mouths stead?)

What would you propose I do exactly?

(I don't know kid just hold open a door or help her on a test to receive a high score.)

(Look you need to get out there and learn by mistake just good old trial and tribulation and finally maybe just maybe you will be a bit more lucky with the ladies.)

How long will that take though I need results not insults.

(Well you want to be seen so first off catch her attention and do something, sing, honestly anything but just creepily staring.)

(Just say what you want to say no need to try to change you don’t have to act so fake because if she can’t accept you then son she’s not the one for you to choose.)

Author's Note

The parenthesis are the boy's own criticism and advice to his self while the one's without is just the boy talking out loud.

Reviews

[Njeri Brooks]

The siliques is very interesting. It really shows how people can internalize their self doubt.

However, it's not very healthy to have all the questions/doubts in your head. It works better to just hash them out to a friend or even out loud to your self.
That's just me though.

From reading how you didn't just go up to her, I can tell you really don't wear your heart on your sleeve.

In addition to this, I have one question. Do you by any chance have an accent?

[Sir_Anonymous]

I ain't so sure about a accent but I suppose if I lived over where ya do I would sound different and stick out what if all the y'all's and what not I say... So I guess I am a Westerner with accents just picture a more city folk sounding southern and that's essentially me in a nutshell.

[Sir_Anonymous]

Did you ask because of my rhyme scheme?

[Njeri Brooks]

Yes and also because you do say ya a lot. But yeah, I was just curious.

[Njeri Brooks]

Well, you wouldn't stick out to the town I live in, but I'm originally from Michigan, so it just stuck out to me.

[Sir_Anonymous]

Ah I see that makes sense Well mind I ask which of my writing's did you find to be your favorite?read moreAh I see that makes sense Well mind I ask which of my writing's did you find to be your favorite?

Sincerely,Me

[Njeri Brooks]

The one about graduation is my favorite.

[Njeri Brooks]

Even though I like getting lost in Fantasy, I like realistic fiction the best. "Eternal" would've been my favorite if that wasn't the case

[Njeri Brooks]

But then again, the poem about being "fine" really struck a nerve with me and became really endearing to me...

Lol, I'm really indecisive about things like this.

[Sir_Anonymous]

Oh you read "Graduation" that's nice that one and "Today" are probably my most emotional poems not about my love for a girl.

"The Problem Is..." Is another one U wrote less then a week ago about some of my major conflicts I have faced when I was younger.

Yeah My favorite is probably "Killer Discovery" then "Eternal" and maybe "Destroyer of The World"

I love to read and write about fantasy... If you hadn't noticed yet lol

[Sir_Anonymous]

***I*** wrote

[Njeri Brooks]

I mean... of course we both know it's possible for me to write something I've never heard of lol

[Njeri Brooks]

What's your favorite book?

[Sir_Anonymous]

I don't really have a favorite per say but I am currently reading

Mark Lawrence "Prince of Thorns"
Karen Miller "The Innocent Mage"
Brent Weeks "The Way of Shadows"

[Sir_Anonymous]

And I'm up to date on "The Chronicles of Nick" and I have also recently finished reading "1984" and "Legend"

[Shasha]

Exactly, leave the ones who don't care about you. And yes of course, a nice one as usual and keep it up.

[Sir_Anonymous]

Thank you for taking the time to read my work I had just finished writing earlier last night and wanted to kinda experiment with what was going on glad you like it.

Sincerely, Sir_Anonymous