Transparent Existence

For the group 'Creative Poetry'.

The idea of a transparent existence

Haunts me

 

Knowing and fearing

The deception that lurks

Beneath the shadows of the surrounding faces

With opaque lives and darkened minds

Their sinister smiles

Indicating the gloom that lies ahead

Or maybe it is sympathy, misinterpreted

That I will share their fate

Rotten repugnant thoughts

Infecting the mind

Like maggots infect a corpse

 

Transparent

No robes of pretensions and lies

Like clear markings on the wall

About the past

The present

And the future

My mind, once an abode

Of the dreams and imagination

Of every colour imagined and seen

Not yet bruised by a reality check

Which brought with itself

The ghastly nightmares of future

And filled my present with ominous threats

Perhaps my life was too easy to decipher

Living every predictable second

Living a life with strings in some else’s hands

 

Would you not rather be isolated and safe

Than be social and insecure?

Would you not dare to make your own mistakes

Than repeat the old ones?

Would you not dare to close your mind

Fearing a theft of your secrets?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The idea of a transparent existence

Haunts me still

For I know not what is to come

But the way they smirk and glare at me

Maybe they do

Author's Note

And...?

Reviews

[realmwriter]

No One knows what is come. No matter how well we plan our lives, sometimes things just don't go as planned. Yet looking into such a bleak future as a transparent exsistance is indeed a haunting thought. Sometimes we put it all under a cloak and hope no one sees but in the end we all know that it is on display for the world to see no matter how much we try to hide it.
If one does not one to see right through one then one ought to keep ones thoughts and feelings in ones mind, because as yet, that is the only place they are still safe.

[WhiteWillow]

A thought-provoking write. Isolated and safe vs. social and insecure...I love that dichotomy, one I know I deal with from time to time, depending on the day. Lovely piece.

[JRB]

This was very thoughtfull thank you for the write

[.]

A thinking man poem..I think to truly be comfortable with yourself you have to be transparent and feel good about who your are..interesting piece

[Tim]

Wow, even the dull grey tones of the people in the picture help leave an impression on the reader which is proof of talent as a writer. 'Becoming like them' would be a good description of this poem. It reminds me of the movie 'invasion of the body snatchers.' where personalities and empathy are robbed from the mind of the victim. You give a great analytical view of the thoughts of the speaker and the ending has a sinister persuasive feel to it that sticks in the mind of the reader. A great poem for sure.

100/100

[Zane Mathias]

this is an amazing story of the internal fight in ones mind trying to live with the strings of your life in your own hand.. there is such Vivid imagery here and was a great read i look forward to reading many more writings from you!!!

[Ruth]

This is poignant! Social insecurities can make us falter, do we embrace all we could be? Do we see others as we are seen even? So much here makes me think! Thats the beauty of words, making you think...wonderful love xoxo

[joshua deathdealer]

This is such a powerful write. Excellent work.

[Linear]

What a frightful thought to be laid bare for all to see.
Most don't even wish to look to closely at the image they cast in the mirror.
To be transparent is a thing I would never wish to be.

So for the time being at least, let's just cover up.
Excellent and thought rendering poem :O)

[Boldpen]

Wow!!!!!!
Truly heart thriving and mind shaking write.
Really made me wonder about my own insecurities within people.
Great work!
Exceptional creation.

[Robin]

the shadows felt along the path of becoming an individual ...