journal entry #1 4/9/13

so i decided to make a journal entry i don't know whether or not there will be another but we will see... so i have been going through a lot lately. i have an amazing boy friend, best friend, friends, school, and an okish family... But i am still so depressed, i just feel as if i don't belong here, in the world.. in existence. I am trying so hard but my bf just moved to florida.. he is really up set yet he won't talk to me about it and it worries me, my best friend is in idaho and is too busy with his life to try and help me.. so i am on my own. alone all alone nobody but nobody came make it out here alone...but i did and i can't get back i am begging for help but no one will listen.. i put on a fake smile every day and no one sees through it and i just need someone to hold me and tell me things will be alright but that isn't what's happening....

So i guess i have to suck it up and move on with my life, face to world with a shield.. build walls.. block out every one... and keep that fake smile so you see me smiling don't worry it is hiding all of my tears from the abuse, rape, neglect, depression, and everything else that has ever happened to me... so i guess that is what i shall do...




                                 ~Lexx

Author's Note

please don't be hurtful i have gone through enough...