Size Lies

An encounter at a bar in the slums with a twist.

I sit alone at the bar on a cloudy night.

My fourth glass of whiskey on the rocks.

Still a quarter full, persperating.
A big man walks up to a smaller man.

Says he was looking at his woman.

I sip my drink and turn to the scene.

They exchange words and then so fast

A punch to the jaw. He was knocked out.

I pay my tab and get out of there.

The place was a shithole anyway.

As i make my way home i begin to wonder.

Was it such a crime to blink in the direction

of his woman? Drunk men will be men.

Regardless, he was on the floor.

Bleeding from the mouth.

Funny how things turned out.

But you know the adage.

The bigger they are

The harder they fall.

And believe me

He fell

Hard.

Author's Note

Let me know what you think. Thank you.

Reviews

[Shannon]

Great little tale. You create a whole scene with few words, your usage feels so deliberate. I even like the use of the cliché at the end, which sometimes don't work. That's deftly handled.

You do however, give your ending away before we start reading. Which makes it less satisfying. Definitely don't tell us a twist is coming in the 'about' section. And the title, while clever might hint too much at the outcome. Another way to deal with this might be to give us another reason for the title. So the reader thinks it's already referenced, leaving the surprise at the end. One example might be, when you talk about how men behave, make a reference to measuring sticks and always adding a few inches.

There are some issues with tense too, if you are interested. Please note, I generally only offer this much constructive feedback on pieces I enjoy.