My bedtime Animals.

This is a childrens picture book I am working on. It will be illustrated which I am working on now. But at this moment in time, would like feedback and advice. Thanks x

I'm sat stroking a cat that's in my lap.

I'm sat tickling a mouse that's in my house.

I'm sat talking to a bird that doesn't say a word.

I'm trying to find the dog, oh he's in the bog.

I'm walking with a frog who's decided to jog.

I'm dancing with a pig that's wearing a wig.

I'm taking a bath with a horse who covered in sauce.

I'm hiding from the sheep playing hide and seek.

I'm relaxing with the cow with a monobrow.

I'm counting with a hen who can count to ten.

I'm watching a duck riding a truck.

I'm with a grouse wearing a blouse.

I'm with an owl under a towel.

I'm hanging with the geese brushing our teeth.

Animals animals in my house,bedtime for all even the mouse.

Reviews

[Mrs Meggins]

I like the idea of a single line with a picture since this can make a nice book.
I think the lines need work to be honest. They need to rhyme better. Also, I think you need to consider the illustration more that will go with each line. A dog on a bog does not work for me.