She Hides in Sunlight

This is about hiding your true self from the world

Hiding in the sunlight
she watches as clouds
drag wayward shadows
across bumpy terrain

Blending into the shade
and escaping the bright
glare would be a relief

She hides in plain sunlight
dancing in shimmers of heat
hands raised like vapors

but longs for a dark reprieve

Author's Note

I intentionally did not use punctuation in this poem. Despite the last sentence about a dark reprieve this is not about suicide. Thank you for reading.

Reviews

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I very much like the poem. I like the concept of light of day representing what the rest of the world sees whereas the shadows represent a safe place to hide.

I just don't understand why you would intentionally eschew punctuation. Since you wrote the poem, you hear it perfectly in your mind's ear because you know exactly how it's supposed to sound. I struggled a bit to read the poem because I did not know where the stops and pauses were supposed to be. A common misconception is that the end of a line indicates a pause in a poem. This is not the case and so, we the reader REALLY need punctuation to know how you want us to read your poem. Think of it as a road map.

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

This is beautiful,your words flow so easily,they have a soothing effect on reader.For me the stanza,Blending into the shade
and escaping the bright
glare would be a relief ....stands out cause it i so well thought about and can be understood in many ways....
It is a lovely write..

[mae-mae<3]

yayayayayayayay i love this. so unique and riveting. it leaves me with questions and then i can dig and i'll find the answers. great GREAT write.

[FlawedByDesign]

Longing for shadow, for a little refuge from the sun, can be related to all of us. Most of us live out in the open susceptible to the elements. I'm not speaking of nature's wrath here, but what others do and say. Be it our peers, boss, random people, etc, we are naked faced with their words and actions so to speak. We can fight back and we do, but after fighting battles every day we ache for some reprieve/relief.
I never once thought about suicide here to be honest. The way I understand "dark reprieve" is a personal refuge of mine (this reminds me of my FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE" piece), where I can be alone for as long as I need.

Really well done :)

[Steve]

Now this is genuine poetry. Not easy to do either.

well done

[Taste of Ink]

Wow I really like this poem! Your word choice is excellent and the lack of punctuation actually works in your favor. Nice job! :)

[Tim]

Well done snappy. The first verse gave me the impression of a loner and I like the way you weaved the similar words throughout: Hiding, blending, escaping. Another fine poem. Well done.

[Ecnelis]

Oooh. I very much like this poem. The lack of punctuation isn't even an issue. (Free verse gives us that option and frankly, this piece doesn't need it, it flows well without it!)

It is short but I so could relate. Anyone who would read this and think suicide wouldn't actually be getting it I think.

This is very simplistic free verse and is so wonderfully done. Your separation of the last line as its own "stanza" of sorts worked really well.

"She hides in plain sunlight
dancing in shimmers of heat
hands raised like vapors"

Great imagery. Fantastic stanza.