Mirror

Look into your eyes. What do you see?

In a mirror,

I stare into my eyes

And all I see is a pale hallow man.

 

His eyes seem so empty,

Yet so heavy.

Carrying black bags.

 

His eyes showed sorrow,

Pain with no love.

As he wondered what happened to his life.

 

A tear ran down his cheek

Fleeing from the pain.

His face remained blank.

 

I wipe off the escapee,

And trudge back to work,

My reflection, doing the same.

 

Reviews

[Bowers]

i .... am having a hard time writing a responce to this poem, and its not because i dont like it, thats quite the opposite of what it was. Im struggling.. to pick out words, to express my... understanding.
I get it. I know that feeling.
that tear that slides down at first un-noticed, then gradually more follow
or that tear that escapes and you have to brush it away just so you can fake a smile and walk back out as if nothings wrong.
inside we can be a whole new person, outside the pain may not show, but who can see inside us? who knows our heart, and who can sense our pain? so we hide it and act as though were fine... and everyday it gets alittle harder
i feel that pain and i know what hes going through
i loved this piece

[Soma-ko]

It's fine if you're having a hard time. Sometimes words just conflict with each other, leaving you in an inarticulate state. I'm glad, in a way, that you understand my piece, and that it connected to you somehow. The exterior of ourselves tend to blind and make us forget who we really are, since it's what we see everyday. Happy you liked the piece, and thanks for reading. :)

[NA]

Profound moving read hun...enjoyed :) x

[SyberRose]

I enjoyed this captivating write Soma...I was wondering if you changed the first verse to third person
In a mirror,
He stared into his eyes
And all he could see was a pale hallow man.

What do you think?

[Soma-ko]

That's actually what I originally did, but I wanted to differentiate the perspectives a bit ('I' is the main character, and 'he' is addressing the reflection he's talking to). Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)