So Sad...

The look on your face...

I wiped absently at my eyes. Seeing him brought back too much memories...memories I never wanted to think of again. Why did I come here? Am I just looking for trouble? Cause that's that it seems like. Or maybe I'm a push over...

“Shall we go in?” he opened the door with one hand and motioned with the other. As he smiled I noticed his eyes checking my body out. Like always, he can never help himself. I looked behind me at the sunny day before I entered the cafe.

“Evening,” one of the waiters greeted me with a friendly smile. However, it looked forced now. Like he just wanted his shift to end. I can't really blame him.

I smiled back. “Evening, booth for two please.” The cafe smelled of coffee and pancakes. This was the only cafe I knew of that served all day breakfast, which was pretty cool. The waiter started down the red carpet and we followed. We passed several tables of people then finally came to the corner booth.

Great, in the corner with Luke.

We slid into our seats as the waiter placed blue menus that said Welcome to Eleventh street Diner in front of us. “I'll be back to get your drink orders,” he said, then turned around and walked to a few tables behind us. “Hello, can I get you anything...” his voice trailed off as I looked at Luke.

“Luke, what's the real reason you came here?” I cocked my head as I picked up the salt shaker. “It's not for a better view or whatever you were talking about.”

I knew for a fact he didn't come here for a 'different view' or 'a better place for his son.' That was all bull s**t and he knew it. He loves New York, he had said once that he'd never leave.

His eyes pierced through me like daggers, the blue turning hard. I glanced down at my hands so I didn't have to look at him. “Yes, it is. What did you think?”

I held the salt still as I looked up at him slowly. What did you think? It was such a simple question...yet so difficult. What did I think? Well maybe that he came to stalk me? I can't say that...but that is why I think he came here, isn't it? Or not? I mentally shook myself so I'd stop asking myself questions, I couldn't even make up my mind.

Shaking my head I slid down in my booth, I felt so small under his gaze. “I don't really know.” It seemed like the safest answer.

He rolled his eyes dramatically as annoyance formed in his eyes. “Don't lie Jordan,” he hissed through clenched teeth. He was leaning forward now, and with his hair in front of his solid blue eyes he really did look scary. “You have an answer-”

“What can I get you guys to drink?” The waiter appeared at exactly the right moment. I could have jumped up and hugged him if I wouldn't get the cops called on me for doing so.

My heart beat slowed a little bit as I looked at the waiter. “Pepsi, please.”

“Water.” Luke said with little emotion, his gaze stuck on me. The annoyance was stronger in his eyes and I was tempted to tell the waiter to sit with us till we go.

“Are you guys ready to order?” he asked, his eyes darting from Luke's scary expression to mine.

“No, not yet, sorry.” I nodded my thanks and he went off. Leaving me alone with Luke. I felt my hands shaking as I held the salt shaker between my fingers. I felt Luke's eyes burning through my flesh. “Luke, what do you want?” I asked in an exasperated voice.

He slammed his hand on the table, causing several people to turn their heads. I looked at him with wide eyes. My heart beat sped back up and I felt like I was going to explode. “Jordan, you are so-” he let out a huge sigh as he raked his fingers through his hair.

I raised my eye brows and I swore they went into my hair line. “I'm so what? Hmm? Want to know what I think? I think you came here to follow me, there, that's what I think.” I slammed the salt shaker down and watched as a storm of salt landed on the table.

“You're...I don't know what you are Jordan.” He ran his fingers through his hair once again. “I'm not stalking you...” he ended the sentence like he was rethinking it and I crossed my arms. “I just want a better place for my son...”

I let my arms drop as I rolled my eyes. “Okay, whatever.” The tension flowing between us was so thick you could almost see it.

The cafe quieted down a little. Either because everyone was listening to us or they were scared of Luke.

I'd have picked the second, but I'm guessing it was the first.

Shoving the salt aside I picked up the menu. Honestly, I wasn't even that hungry. However, everything on here looked so good I was willing to make myself be hungry. As I debated on grilled cheese or broccoli soup I peaked over my menu to see Luke looking at his. Good, at least he's using his eyes for something else instead of shooting daggers through me.

I set the menu down and looked out the window at the cloudless sky. It really was beautiful here, I'll admit that. And the buildings were so tall and beautiful. And the people...well, let's say a lot of them are intimidating.

Just not like New York.

“Luke,” I finally said. I watched as he slowly brought down his menu, his eyes calmer as he looked at me like a sane person. “ You can't tell me you don't miss New York.”

I sighed as I looked back out the window and pretended I was in a place calked Edison Cafe on Broadway and 8^th Avenue in New York. Pretended I was looking out the window at the passing new yorkers doing whatever they wanted to do as I ate fries and drank pepsi. It's where my friends and I all went after school to hang out. It was my favourite place...

It's where things happened, where I met one of my best friends, where my Mom also took me when I was a kid. We'd order the family meal and eat it all ourselves.

“Of course I miss it,” he said calmly. I kept staring out the window, I could feel UN-shed tears forming. “I miss every second of it,” he continued. “The hang outs, the school, parties...yeah, the parties.” He chuckled and I couldn't help but smile. He loved to party. “The Edison Cafe...”

I nodded and felt a tear escape my eye. I quickly wiped it away then looked back at him. “Then tell me why you left.”

His eyes went hard again. “I wanted a better place for my son, and maybe I missed you a little bit.”

At least I got that part out of him.

“Well Miami isn't any better.” I pointed out. “Luke...you can't just chase me. I left, that was like...suppose to be an eye opener for you. For you to realize to stop chasing me and stay with your wife.”

His lips were in a tight line as he stared at me. “I do love her.” It sounded like he was trying to convince himself, which he probably was. “Tell me you don't miss me, Jordan?”

The change of subject took me completely off guard. He never answered anything I said. I regained my thoughts and looked him square in the eyes. “I don't miss you, Luke.”

Anger spurted in his eyes and I swear smoke could have been coming out of his ears. “Don't lie!”

Once again, saving me, the waiter popped up with a note pad and our drinks. “Can I take your order?” he asked as he placed the Pepsi in front of me and water in front of Luke.

If only the waiter knew how relieved I was that he showed up. I should leave him a good tip. “I'll have grilled cheese, please. “

“Me to.” Luke responded dryly, never taking his eyes off of me.

The waiter looked at us back at forth again then nodded and disappeared. Wouldn't he notice something was up?

I fiddled with my fingers as I looked out the window again. “I don't know why I agreed to come here...” I mumbled to myself.

“I do,” apparently Luke heard me, I looked over at him, waiting for his answer, “but you're too stupid to realize!”

I clenched and unclenched my teeth. My anger level was rising and I wanted to punch him in the face. “What are you talking about?”

He let out an emotionless, heartless laugh. “Jordan you didn't have to come.”

I cocked my head. “Well yeah you wouldn't leave me alone about it...”

Shaking his head he took the pepper shaker and toyed with it. “No one has to do anything. You're your own person. You decided to come here, you must have wanted to see me.”

That was his logic? I crossed my arms as I let out a tired sigh. “Your logic is stupid. I did not want to see your face at all.”

He leaned forward and stared at me. His eyes looked so lost, so sad. “You wanted to see me.”

Slamming my hand on the table I stood up. “No, I didn't. I never want to see you! You're just...unbearable. I don't even know why I'm here!” I wiped a few tears from my eyes as I sat back down, everyone was staring at us. “Stop trying to make me think I wanted to see you.”

“You just know I'm right, so you're denying it.”

I clenched my teeth and stood up again, knocking the salt over in the process. “Excuse me.” I mumbled as I stepped away from the booth. I headed towards the bathroom, taking long steps. I passed tables with children, and tables with lovers or with family’s. Tears swelled in my eyes as I reached the hall way, breaking into a light jog.

Then running smack into someone.

Catching me off guard I grabbed that persons shirt as I went stumbling down, taking them with me. I landed smack on the floor, hitting my shoulder against the wall. I heard a man grunt followed by a thud.

Rubbing my shoulder I turned around to see who I ran into. His back was facing me as he rubbed his head. Then he turned around.

“Zack?” I exclaimed as he started to stand up. “What are you doing here?”

He offered me his hand to help me up. “Hey,” I grabbed it and he lifted me up, “I forgot something and had to come back...” He cocked his head as he leaned on one leg and stretched his arm. “I could ask you the same question?”

Wiping my eyes from the rest of the tears I shrugged. “You could.”

Leaning against the wall with crossed arms he smirked. “And I will,” he nodded towards me, “so why are you here?”

I rolled my eyes. “I was meeting up with an old friend.”

“I see.” We stood there for a moment, then he looked at me and squinted his eyes. “Are you crying?”

My hand automatically went to my eyes and I looked away. I felt so embarrassed it's not even funny. “No.”

I felt his warm fingers grasp my writs and pull my arm down. He looked me in the eyes. “Yes you are. What's wrong?”

I stood silently as his hand still rested around my wrist. I can't tell him what's wrong without telling him my life story. Something I didn't want to do at all. He was a stranger basically, I hardly knew him.

Then why did you let him kiss you? A tiny voice whispered in my ear.

I mentally shook myself because I knew it was right. Was it out of lust? Was it because I like him? He was handsome, no doubt, and a very nice guy at that. You normally can't find those two characteristics in one person.

But no. Suddenly the answer just popped straight in my head. It was clear now, so clear.

I wanted to feel loved and cared for by someone. Zack was there...and willing to care. I took the opportunity.

This realization stunned me. Was I using Zack? Questions popped in my head one by one and didn't stay longer then five seconds. Guilt spread through my body like butter on bread and I clenched my fists.

“Jordan?” he waved his hand in front of my face. “Come in the restaurant office with me and talk.”

He tugged me behind him as he went to open the office door. My mind was still rambling and bickering at me for me to realize I was going alone in a room with him. He sat down in a chair and I did the same. “So, what's wrong?”

I let out an empty, heartless laugh. “Nothing, nothing at all.”

He frowned. “Jordan, please tell me.”

I rolled my eyes as I crossed my legs. “It's nothing. I really don't have to tell you anything, Zack.”

He looked shocked, then he rested back in his seat. “Um, okay...”

I rubbed my forehead as I stared at the wall. The room was a small square room. One light shone lightly down on our faces, but not bright enough to show the book names on the shelf behind Zack. There was an average height water cooler in the far corner of the room beside another chair. It was plain and simple, but good enough to have a break in.

Zack was staring at something over my shoulder when I said: “Sorry I didn't-”

He waved his hand like he was dismissing me. “Na, don't worry about it. You're right, it's none of my business.”

I shifted in my seat as I tapped my fingers on the chair. “Hm.”

The silent crept on and I wondered how long I've been in here for. Luke was probably waiting for me and cursing about it all. I peaked a glance over at Zack, who was inspecting a magazine he'd taken off a table beside him. It said, peoples magazine, on the cover and I couldn't help but smile. I've never seen a guy pick up that magazine before. His forehead wrinkled as he further examined the book, opening and flipping through pages. I even thought I heard him grunt in disagreement a few times. It was actually really cute.

Little things like that are what matters. Jake never even opens a book or anything...

Jake.

Completely frantic, I lunged my hand in my pocked and grabbed my cell phone. Looking at the time I noticed it was almost 5 O'clock.

Jake would be home in an hour.

“S**t,” I jumped out of my seat, almost stumbling over in the process. I happened to startle Zack, causing him to throw the magazine aside and leap up. I did everything in my power not to laugh at his shocked expression that stayed on his face for a few seconds, then it vanished into worry.

“What?” he asked, looking around as if a burglar had walked in as he was reading People's magazine.

“The time,” I started to head for the door, “I have to get home, I'm going to be late...” I put my hand on the door handle, when all of a sudden there was a hand on my upper arm. I turned around to see Zack right in front of me. I swallowed hard as he closed in, close enough I could feel his breath.

“Don't leave...” he pleaded, staring me intently in the eyes. His body was so close to mine...

I pulled away from his grasp but made no attempt to move. “I have to, I'm sorry Zack...” He never tore his gaze away and I never moved mine. My heart was beating so fast I thought it would come out of my chest. I finally lifted my hand and placed it on the door handle, once I had it I tightened my grip. Swallowing hard I turned it, hearing a tiny click. “I have to go.”

For some reason pain twisted in his face for a moment, then left as fast as it had come. I frowned, feeling horrible for causing that bit of pain. I felt his grip on me loosen and I wiggled free. I smiled in apology then opened the door.

But he grabbed my shoulders and turned me around and before I knew it, he was leaning in.

To...kiss me?

Panic surged through me, and I knew it was wrong to even let him kiss me. I placed my hands on his chest, feeling his muscles tense and UN-tense, and pushed as hard as I could. He stumbled back, taken off guard as he stared at me.

My chest heaved up and down heavily as I stared back in shock. Once again, questions in my mind were running faster then a train on full speed without any breaks. They felt out of control and about to crash. “Zack...” I let out a sigh, not knowing what to say. Scratching my head I leaned against the door, slamming it shut. “I..” Once again I let my sentence die off as I shook my head.

I really didn't know what to say.

Zack rubbed his face as he moaned. “I'm sorry...”

I watched as he walked around in circles in a frantic motion. “Why'd you try that?”

He shrugged but never stopped pacing back and forth. “I don't know!” He raised his hands up in the air, exasperated. “I-I thought you wanted me to since earlier and the-”

“The kiss on the cheek,” I finished for him as I rubbed my temples. I could feel a headache slowly forming as I thought of an answer. “Zack,” I looked up at him and begged with my eyes that he’d understand what I was going to say. “Zack, there's nothing going on between us,” I motioned at him then myself, “we're just friends. I'm sorry if I...” pausing I looked for the right word, “misled you.” I spoke as calmly as I could in a situation like this.

His face dropped and I thought my heart did to. “Just friends?” he asked as he toyed with a cup on the desk. “That's it?”

I could feel his sadness filling the room. I so badly wanted to reach out to him and give him a hug, but that wouldn't be the smart thing to do. “That's it.” I confirmed.

He sighed as he plopped back down in his chair. “Okay, I'm sorry.”

I attempted a smile, but I wasn't fooling anyone. “Don't be, it's not your fault.” I reached behind me and placed my hand on the handle and twisted it. Slowly, I pulled it open. “I'll see you around.”

His head was resting on his palm and he didn't even look at me as he said: “Yeah, see ya”

For a moment I looked at his figure, sitting on the couch a little slumped over. His arm held his head up as he toyed with a loose piece of fabric on the chair. Though I couldn't see his face, I could feel his sadness floating openly in the room, it was also easy to read it in the way he slouched. My heart tightened at this sight.

I pulled open the door silently and slipped out as fast as I could. My heart still thumped as I walked back to my table, passing new families that had arrived and waiting for their orders.

Luke sat impatiently at the booth, picking at the remains of his grilled cheese with a sour look on his normally beautiful features. “Nice of you to come back.” He mumbled sarcastically.

I stood there awkwardly for a moment, watching him pick his food. “I'm really sorry but-”

He looked up at me, his eyes emotionless. “Let me guess,” he interrupted as he stood up, placing money on the table, “you have to go?” I nodded as he stepped out of the booth. “Fair enough, at least I got to see you.”

My heart pinched again. Not because of what Luke said, but because I've hurt two people in the past five minutes. Though, I care about Zack's feelings more then Luke's...

We both walked over to the exit door silently.

“I'm sorry...” I opened the door and was hit with a warm breeze from the ocean. I let it overwhelm me for a moment before I tuned back to Luke.

He shrugged as he made his way down the stairs. “You need a ride?”

I thought for a moment...I would get home faster...

However, I'd have to risk getting caught with Luke and being out of the house. I'd rather only get in trouble for the second one. So I decided against it. “No, but thanks.”

He shrugged and turned around. “I'll see you around.”

I nodded and we stood there for a while staring at each other. His blue eyes swirled with something I couldn't place my finger on. His expression looked so sad, so lost...

It looked good on him for once.

With my chin up I started to walk backwards. “Bye, Luke.”

“Bye, Jordan.” He turned around, his shoulders slumped, and walked to his car.

I stared after him for a few moments until someone told me to 'move it,' and I realized I was just standing in everyone’s way. Digging out my cell phone I called a cab to come pick me up.

I found the nearest bench and sat down, crossing my legs. I kept thinking about the look on Zack's face when I left. Like he was a little kid and I told him he couldn't get any candy.

Cupping my hand over my eyes I looked up at the people walking by with children, pets, families or just on walks. All laughing and talking happily.

That use to be me when I was in New York. Walking around with friends, talking, laughing...

“Stop it, nothing you can do,” I mumbled to myself as I picked at my shorts. “Nothing at all-” suddenly a car horn honked and I looked up, noticing a yellow cab.

Wiping my pants I stood up and walked to the front door. “Hey,” I said as I got in.

I took a glance out the window as he started to drive, staring at the cafe until it was out of sight and I couldn't see its sign anymore.

Now I have to beat the clock.

Author's Note

Next Chapter! :D

Reviews

[Daydreamer54]

writs-wrists. I would b kinda freaked out if zack asked me not to leave, stil i don't know him like that, yet he acts like he's in love with me. weird. :P Also a cab wouldn;t come to pick you up, you have to stop the cab in order to get where your'e ging. Plus if you called a cab in the middle of a bust street, how wouold they know your'e their passenger?

[Steph's_romantic_myster..]

Still glued.... Keep em comming... I think Jordan puts up with too much crap from him I cant wait to see whats Next!!!!!

[hannajade]

good one--
'His eyes went hard again. “I missed you and I wanted a better place for my son.”'
I would make that like, "I wanted a better place for my son...and, I'll admit, I did miss you." theres a few grammar problems and stuff, and some of it doesn't make complete sense.. but its the type of story that you wouldn't be able to put down! :)

[Midnight_Mystery]

im so hooked!

[Lindsey]

I love this I just want to read and read.

[Karli]

you always leave me wanting to read more! I really want to see what happens with all these characters. You're doing a good job of making every character important, although I miss Danielle. But good work!