Listless

Daily I move around bound by invisible chains
A smiling face masking hurt,it drains
I wonder what you can tell staring at my face
Does it show that here,I feel out of place?

Can they grasp my enforced romance with darkness
As daily my life fades into nothingness
How constantly arrows and knives
Are fired and pierced in the wounds I'm trying to heal in my life

With the only safe space being in my head
As I steadily court death and envy the dead
I still cannot find life's reason and value
I'm not an ingrate,spare the judgment,thank you

I know now that seeking happiness is chasing shadows
My constant companions remains trouble and sorrow
Forever to spend my time in the universe
Stuck in reverse

Reviews

[Helen]

This is so beautiful, painful and relatable.

The poem gives an image of someone who has tried very hard to 'get well' and I love your comment about sparing the judgement - not ungrateful, just deep in despair.

My constant companions remains trouble and sorrow

I relate to this and, although it is not the same, the tone of your poem did bring to mind Mary Oliver's poem 'Love Sorrow', which a knowing and loving friend gave to me during my last bout of depression. No judgement from Mary Oliver or my friend, instead an invitation to lovingly tend to the part of me that needed healing without expecting me to 'cheer up' or to stop feeling what I was feeling.

Thank you for sharing this poem.

[DarkPoet]

Hello Helen,thank you for your review. I'm glad you were able to relate to the poem and you find it beautiful. Its very easy for friends and loved ones to take for granted the struggles of people suffering from mental health and depression for granted,causing people to be scared to open up and expression for fear of rejection and judgement. I hope that as I honestly put out my own struggles someone will see and know that they are not alone,weird or unlovable. Thank you so much

[Helen]

Thank you so much for sharing. You gave a voice to many of the things i felt and you are right, it is so important to break the silence and the taboo. Blessings to you.

[John the Baptist]

This one has depression written all over it. Some can mask this darkness with a "smiling face" for a while, but eventually the night closes in on them if they don't get help.

[DarkPoet]

Thank you for the review