Lamentations I

What can I do to provoke you to anger so you can strike me dead?
Your love is hitting a piece of heavy metal on my head
The words you tell me, mess up with my brain
Instead of comfort, they bring nothing but pain

Every night I lay awake my thoughts run deep
But your beloved you give them sweet sleep
I am always wrong and you are right
In me is left nothing,not even a fight

Is pointless calling on your name
For I am always put to shame
I keep adjusting expectations, living without
This has only worsened my case of self doubt

As instructed I keep praying for your will
But I am hungry, exposed, and can't pay my bills
I am no where near my peers
So I stay away to avoid condescending stares

I didn't ask for this life, I am forced to live it
You see my life, read my words and judge me ungrateful
My experience with you has just been distasteful
You don't care,you deal with me as you deem fit

I just want to save my home
I am wretched,nothing do I own
My heart, mind and soul are shattered to pieces
I have not and will never know peace

To say I am tired is a huge understatement
Me writing this down will bring nothing but your judgment
From you I want to run far away forever
And sadly It is never, for when I die I will burn in the fire forever