True Love

<3

If you wake up tomorrow, with a hole in your heart

I promise I could make it better, at least it’s a start

To show you the things I’d do for you, again and again

Not wanting anything in return, just a smile to lend

Although I’d never ask for it back, hold onto it please

Knowing I can make you smile, is what makes me breathe

In perfect repetition, keeping my body at ease

If you knew the state of mind I'm in, you wouldn’t believe

That every sleepless night, I didn’t close my eyes

Was because I made a wish for you, at least I tried

To stay awake for anything, anything to help me believe

An angel is listening somewhere, but will never see

The strength it takes, to keep your name on repeat

Not knowing when I could see, what makes me complete

If only I was the answer, to the hole in your heart

You’d never feel alone again, we’d never be apart

Reviews

[...]

... ah ... this is a beautiful, melodious and soulful love song ... and the quaint magic in this verse ... for me as a reader ... is in the brilliance of the first two lines and the last two lines ... and the way they complete the cycle of love ... "if you wake up tomorrow, with a hole in your heart" ... and ... "i promise i could make it better, at least it's a start" ... and ... "if only i was the answer, to the hole in your heart" ... and ... "you'd never feel alone again, we'd never part" ... i can't help but wonder if the person loved is in denial ... if this is a plea from the narrator ... to be heard ... to be acknowledged ... to be seen for the true love that he holds in his heart ... and what stuns me even more is how the true test of true love is embedded in these lines ... outstanding!!! ... and throughout the verse ... the mesmerizing images of true love saunter and meander like floating clouds ... in ... "just a smile to lend" ... "knowing i can make you smile is what makes me breathe" ... "that every sleepless night, i didn't close my eyes ... was because i made a wish for you, at least i tried" ... and yet ... the most haunting and moving lines of this verse for me are ... "the strength it takes, to keep your name on repeat" ... and ... "not knowing when i could see, what makes me complete" ... we are so unaware sometimes of that love and that embodiment of love ... which enriches our soul beyond measure ... amazingly well expressed ... with such simplicity and elegance ... throughout this verse ... the longing ... the yearning ... the lingering ... the love ... is so evident ... it's definitely a song to be kept on repeat ... remarkably poetic verse ... a 100 ... for magic that's worth way more ...

[Queen of Sin]

I really like this poem its amazing.....good job :)

[Maryum Mazhar]

Wow...
Are you like a real guy? Cause guys aren't supposed to be good at poetry. But here you are dude!

That poem = awesomeness (lol)
Love it

[Gobinder Singh Dhindsa]

Its lovely writing. I like it. Keep it up!
Do you read mine too Anguish...
God bless you...
Lucky!

[ShadowOfTheDay]

Amazing! :D Any girl would be lucky to have a guy like you! I love love love this poem! Good job! xD

[BlackStar]

This is the best love poem or song that I have ever read. It is so beautiful and I honestly wish that I'm the girl you wrote this for. It's wonderful and it left me speechless, yet smiling. I can tell that you wrote this with such passion..in fact, I should add that the poem/song almost emits passion haha. It's so simple, yet comples in the sense that the emotions etc are not simple at all, yet this well-penned piece is simple. Additionally, I like the message you are trying to convey...the sort of hope and the at-least-i-tried attitude and strength...ahhh really great! I also like how you structured it and I can't choose a favourite verse but probably I'd say: "Knowing I can make you smile, is what makes me breathe". I really like the ending too, because I can relate to it...but I think that if that person hasn't realised yet, then maybe it's not meant to be that way. Maybe it's meant to be with someone else, someone who will have these mutual feelings too. (That is if you believe in something along the lines of what's meant to be will always find its way). Hmm I'd give this poem a 9+ because I love love love it.I can tell that you were really inspired by it all, and in a way inspired me as a writer too! This is definitely going in my favourites! I can't wait to read more of your work...and wish you the best of luck with finding true love. :D

[Princess152]

wow, this is so amazing, i really loved reading this!! awww... so sweeett!!!!! thanks so much for sharing!

[piggy]

that featured reviewer sure is dotty with her dots.

I think its alright but the meter is a bit off

[Lilly]

A very beautiful piece. It has a certain melody to it which makes it a rather engaging write. Lovely.

[qaralynn]

very sweet poem!! love it

[loowzerX]

Not to repeat what other reviewers have already said.......it's great. very well written - I love this too much :D