�You Should See The Old Place�

There was his smile that brightened our time down here
The flash of happiness that penetrated the floors of all depths
And the light in the centre of his eyes was so intense that it made the sunshine shy away in shame

But then a dark sky gathered itself to become the stronger one
And today remains the same as it continues to pour with rain
The nights are so cold and lonely without you about
Except for the faint echo that trickles into my dreams…
Late at night, unable to sleep
So I ask, “How are you doing?”
“What have you been up to?”
“Hope everythings alright now?”
“When will I see you again?…”

The downpour outside gets louder with each sharp and choked breath inside
As I realise that I’m talking to myself again
The pain of every sudden memory
Makes remembering the worst thing to do every early morning

“You should see the old place
It hasn’t been the same since you left
The bricks and mortar fell into the waiting water
As you were all of the foundations and all of my structure here.”


 

Reviews

[R J Askew]

Really wistful. Great title strongly follwed through in the final flourish, if flourish is right. This is a wonderful line though: 'it made the sunshine shy away in shame'. The poem though restrined and polite on the surface trembles with emotion at the missing. Best of the three I've read so far tonight.

[Marlton]

You capture the loss and pain perfectly in this. Very moving.